A lot of times in life we embark on a mission that slowly consumes our time, our lives, and every waking minute of our attention. Wedding planning can get like that, I remember it well. Let me be the first to admit that my brides and groom’s are exceptional humans who don’t get caught up in the little things but I think this reminder is important for all of us, whether we are planning a wedding, executing a project at work, or consumed by family life: remember why you are doing it. When I talk to my couples about wedding plans, it’s easy to let the conversation revolve around the logistics of an event for hundreds of your closest friends, family, and supporters. It’s even easier to talk color schemes, florals, table settings, and timelines. While I love to hear all of this and it all plays a role in how I will do my work for you, I want you to remember this one tip: remember why you’re doing it.
You aren’t getting married to have peonies and babies breath, you aren’t getting married so that you can finally have gold accented everything without an intervention, you aren’t getting everyone together for the most epic dance party of the year, you are doing this because forever is what you are after. The wedding industry is crazy, I know, I work in it. It is consuming and beautiful, it shouts (not whispers) things that you must do if you want a good wedding, and it can make you feel like you aren’t measuring up to the bridal standards set by the media. Let me remind you, I care more about your moments than you mason jars. I won’t be mad if the gold hues don’t match perfectly and I certainly won’t notice if your lipstick isn’t the perfect hue of pink. Years from now you won’t even remember those details, what you will cling to and remember are the moments of your day: the way your dad took a deep breath before walking you down the aisle, the way your mom hugged you extra tight before she took her seat, the look in your husbands eyes when he saw you the first time, the hand squeezes, the pauses… those are the things you will remember.
No wedding has been perfect, no wedding will be perfect: that’s life. It can suck you in and spit you out and before you know it, you’re too tired to enjoy it. When it all feels consuming, when you feel like you can’t come up for air, when you get into a silly argument over flatware or RSVPS, I want you to put it all away, to plan a date night where you talk about anything but the wedding, to snuggle on the couch, to call your grandma or revisit the place you went on your first date. I want you to think about the moments you are facilitating, the relationships you are fostering, the love you are planning… not the event. At the end of the day it’s a big event centered around vows and promises, remember the vows and promises, forget the event part. Don’t let the wedding win, simply remember why you are doing it and remember that it is just one glorious (and awesome) day in your life, just one day. It’s a beautiful day but there will be more beautiful days ahead of you. Take a step back, take a nap, drink some wine, and laugh it off. It can only take you over if you let it, so don’t let it. This goes for wedding planning, work, life, and relationships: don’t let it consume you, just remember why you’re doing it!
