Wow, I swear I was just writing the last one of these but another 365 days and nights have passed me by as I enter another new year of life. One year closer to thirty, one more year blessed to be alive. I used to be all dramatic on these posts talking about how I didn’t like getting older, but this year had a profound affect on me. It’s genuinely impossible to sum up what a year in the life looks like but I’ll try to do so in a quick and eloquent way. A weird fact about me: 27 had always been my favorite number, I have no clue where that came from or why? I am pretty sure it was my fifth grade boyfriend’s favorite number and I took it as my own, regardless, it’s been my go to number for life. To think that I’ve lived that year makes me smile, because it was truly a remarkable year, one that makes me happy to sit here and bask in it.
Year 27 was the one where I actively sought out balance. Not just in a frantic “I need balance, now” sort of way but in a thoughtful, intentional way of navigating life as a wife, business owner, daughter, and dreamer. It was a year where I set out with a plan, a goal: to be more intentional with relationships, to rest more, to say “yes” to community, and to chase some of those dreams that I had simply been afraid of. It was the year when I finally cut back (and didn’t just talk about it) and I lived a hell of a lot more – you know, life beyond the computer screen. My 27th year was filled with travels (I think I counted 15 trips throughout the year: Texas (3x), California (3x), New York, Virginia, North Carolina, Hawaii, France and Italy.) I became a regular at the airport and became a pro at sleeping sitting up!
The last year also held some major life events. We got pregnant, found out in Hawaii (celebrated with virgin cocktails) and told our friends and family. Then we found out our sweet little baby didn’t have a heart beat and after a few agonizing weeks, we said goodbye. That experience alone will hold a place in my heart for eternity and while it was by far the hardest thing that has happened to me and my body, I was reminded of how diving our Savior is and how peace can wash over us that is unexplainable. Through that hardship (that only happened recently) our eyes were opened to a new world of heartache but we were also shown the love and grace from our friends, family, strangers, and followers. I have never had so many fresh flowers in my life, I have never been prayed over so much, and I have never asked God for peace harder. While we anticipate that October will be a hard month for us (our due date was October 5!) and we know there will be tough days to come, that experience shaped me as a human in ways I can’t yet vocalize.
As we enter this year, a moment keeps popping into my head. It happened just this week. Drew had made another delicious meal, we were cozied up in the attic watching some silly show (probably Dancing with the Stars!) and I was just happy. Truly happy from within. I stared at him, paused the show and said, “We have each other, we have our health, we have our crazy dogs, this beautiful home, our families, a community, and jobs we love… there is absolutely nothing I am in want of in this moment.” That’s the moment I want to live and re-live for this year of life. Acknowledging gratitude in a real, raw way, and leading with love. I hope year 28 is abundant with grace, friendships, moments like the one on the couch, and people – so many people. As I enter this next season of life, I am so entirely grateful you are with me celebrating each moment, each breath, and each day: nothing is promised, I’m living life knowing that.
“I woke up like this” photo by : Lexia Frank
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