Why is it that we are the last ones to believe things about ourselves? Why is it that when someone compliments us, we quickly put ourselves down and point out our flaws? I’ve been thinking a lot about that lately: in work, in life, in the personal stuff… why are we so quick to believe in others and yet we drag when we start to think about our capabilities as human beings? I got an email from a fellow photographer the other day asking about when I finally left my full time job to pursue photography as a career. She told me herself (with zero prompting) that she was her own worst enemy in the pursuit of what she wanted and it really got me to thinking… why are we like this? Why do we as humans seek our own flaws, stifle our joys, and put the worst things about us out in the open for others to see? 

Let me set you straight on a few things, my dear. If you don’t believe in yourself, no one will. This goes in life, in relationships, in growth… we must put the good out into the universe because I truly believe that you get back what you put out. There is never this “aha” moment in life where you know what you are destined to do and all of the questions fade away – the adverse is true, your path will likely be more challenging, you will doubt yourself from time to time, your sanity will be questioned, but my goodness, you are doing what you set out to do. I remember toiling over the decision for a long time, it wasn’t a rash one… it was well planned, financed, and considered. I remember writing pros and cons lists, late night chats with my parents, crunching numbers with Drew. It was absolutely terrifying and I was paralyzed with the thought deep, deep in my heart that I just might fail. 

But then something changed – I turned that thought around and realized I would be more of a failure if I continued punching into a time clock that left me with a pit in my stomach and tears in my eyes on a daily basis. My life wasn’t going to be measured by accomplishments and failures – it was going to be measured by happiness and I knew that I could be happy (at least happier that I was at this job that required an awful uniform.) I set out to be happy, to make myself feel fulfilled, to accomplish the things that had been put at the end of the list for too long. I realized that I didn’t want to be one of those people who lives for retirement without the promise that I would ever make it – I wanted to regret nothing and I knew that if I continued on the corporate path that I was on, I would regret the life it took from me and the happiness that never came chasing the next promotion that I wasn’t even sure I wanted. 

Girlfriend, you have to believe in yourself. You just have to. To you who may be reading this: you have to believe that you can do it. (Whatever “it” is for you.) No one else can do it for you, no one can tell you that you are ready, capable, or accomplished – you have to believe this at the core of your very being. Why are we the last ones to believe such beautiful things about ourselves? Why do we constantly see them in others and nit pick our flaws? I want to change that, I want to combat the self loathing that we are taught – I truly believe it is a self fulfilling prophecy and that scares the living daylights out of me. So, my dear dreamer, I want you to know that it’s okay to believe in yourself. I give you permission to dream with your eyes wide open and your heart on your sleeve. I want you to be a success, I want you to grow and learn and dream some more. There is no equation or perfect planning that will give you your answers – you already know them deep down in your heart. Stop stifling them and celebrate them. Wouldn’t you rather fail doing something you love than succeed at something you zero passion for? I would…  

If you’ve been waiting for a sign – this is it. 

There’s way more to read, it’s Friday – stick around and enjoy!

• Destroying Fears
• Hundreds of Miles Don’t Matter
• Live to Start
• True Beauty