Who Am I Outside of Work and Motherhood, Really?

May 22, 2024


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I saw a meme the other day that said, “Someone asked me to describe who I am and I couldn’t say  my profession, a wife, or a mother – that hit different.”

And honestly, I think that for a lot of us, this is a challenge! In a world where we often lead with, “Tell me what you do” it’s not a space to share who you are outside of the roles you play. 

Over the last year I’ve been really asking myself that question and also giving myself the time and space to rediscover who Jenna really is. 

In this episode, I’m sharing what I’m learning, how I’m exploring, and the questions I’m asking myself pretty much daily – as someone who hasn’t fully arrived and doesn’t plan to but as someone who is committed to being a human outside of being a mom, a wife, and an entrepreneur.

These are easily my favorite roles on planet earth, but also not the totality of who I am or who I want to be in this lifetime. So let’s dive into who I am, really, and how you can discover these parts of yourself too.

Question One: What are my hobbies?

For a long time if you had asked me what my hobbies were, I think I would have laughed at the question. But I do think it’s important for us to think back to activities you enjoyed before becoming a mom or starting your business – or even hobbies you enjoyed as a kid!

Try to reintroduce these hobbies into your routine, even if it’s just for a short time each week whether it’s pulling the watercolor paints out or getting air in the tires of your bike.

A few of my current hobbies that will probably shift and evolve in 6 months:

  • Sourdough baking
  • Paint by numbers
  • Bike riding
  • Weight lifting
  • Bee keeping
  • Playing piano
  • Reading books
  • Rowing club

Question Two: How do I define success and fulfillment in my personal life?

I recently came to the realization that for me, it’s a balanced nervous system – to me, that is true success. 

This is why I’ve been trying to prioritize self care by scheduling regular time for activities that bring me joy and relaxation. Whether it’s reading, painting, yoga, or simply taking a long bath, prioritizing self-care is crucial for maintaining a sense of self outside of your various roles.

I feel like when we picture self care we think of bubble baths or face masks, but I’ve realized that self care for me is making time for a hot yoga class or reading a book instead of scrolling on my phone or listening to a meditation and not a podcast when I have downtime.

Self care doesn’t have to take over your life, it can be incorporated in, but it DOES have to be prioritized!

Question Three: What kind of relationships do I want to cultivate outside of my immediate family and work environment?

Over the past few years I’ve done some really powerful episodes about cultivating relationships and friendships – something I’ve mega prioritized and it’s been so life-giving. Check out episode 714, How to Actually Make and Keep Friends as a Busy Entrepreneur for more tips on this!

In general, it’s important to make an effort to nurture friendships and relationships outside of your immediate family and business circles.

Schedule regular outings with friends, join parent groups, or participate in community events to expand your social network and connect with others who share your interests.

The other night I was awake in the middle of the night thinking of all of the things we talk about doing “when life slows down” and I don’t know if you’ve had a similar experience but life will never just slow down, we have to slow it down.

When I woke up the next day, called my grandparents, talked to my sister-in-law on the phone for an hour, sent a gift to a friend in the mail… relationships are EVERYTHING and I’ve been leaning into that fact a heck of a lot more these days. 

Question Four: What do I want my legacy to be beyond my career and family?

I want to LEAVE a legacy but am I willing to LIVE a legacy? This is a huge question I’ve been asking myself and honestly, I’m still not sure what this would be. I feel like I’ve stopped trying to define what my life’s purpose should be and flipped the question to ask myself, “What is my purpose in this stage of life?” 

It kind of eliminates this urgency of uncovering what your whole legacy needs to be and lets you define what this season or stage should be focused on. 

For a lot of years, I’ve been active in donating to causes I love and for that stage of my life when the kids were so little, donating my money was the best way to support. However, I’ve been feeling more of a pull to donate my time lately and get more involved in our local community, so I’ve been exploring ways to do that as well.

Question Five: What boundaries do I need to work towards incorporating to just “be”?

Establishing clear boundaries between work and personal life is key to preventing burnout and maintaining a healthy balance.

If you struggle with this, designate specific times for work-related tasks and make a conscious effort to disconnect and focus on personal activities when you’re off the clock.

For me, this looks like not working on weekends, not responding to work texts outside of working hours, greeting to inbox zero on Thursdays, and using Slack statuses within our team to respect people’s time away!

Question Six: What brings me joy and fulfillment outside of my professional and parental roles?

I shared in a recent episode (764: Confession: I’m Burnt Out, Here’s Exactly What I’m Doing About It) that I’m experiencing burn out. The main indicator for me was that I was more excited about my sourdough starter than I was about a record-breaking launch that we did as a company!

It’s so easy to get joy and fulfillment from my kids, equally easy to get those feelings of accomplishments in my company, but not as easy when we’re talking about life. 

This is a question I keep coming back to and my journaling practice has been a huge way for me to pay attention, to ask myself this question consistently, and to notice trends or explore curiosities: what gets me excited? 

Right now, I get excited about writing, meditating, wholesome content, less trash TV, more books, and slower living. I encourage you to ask yourself this question and uncover what you’re passionate about in this season! 

What’s Next?

Truthfully, I don’t know where this next season of life will take me…

But what I DO know is that by stepping into the unknown, trying new activities, and embracing the journey of learning, we open ourselves up to a world of possibilities and experiences that can enrich our lives in ways beyond imagination.

So, the next time you feel hesitant to try something new, remember the transformative power of curiosity in shaping a more fulfilling and joyful life!


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Before you get any further... Hi! I'm Jenna Kutcher!

I’m an expert at online marketing, a nerd when it comes to the numbers, and my obsession is teaching others how to make a living doing what they love (without it taking over their life).  One of my favorite places to be is here, sharing what I'm learning with you. I'm glad you're here!



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