It’s kind of crazy actually. I still consider myself a recent bride, even though we are quickly approaching our three year anniversary. The other day I was out to lunch with some fellow creatives and was talking about our wedding, they were surprised to hear that I planned my wedding pre-Pinterest, in fact, at the time we got married even the wedding blogs were pretty sparse. They laughed when I told them about planning a wedding using the ideas in my head and not the ones on Pinterest boards and struggled to think of what it would be like to pick our flowers without a board filled with inspiration. Truth is, I think my wedding planning process was easier than brides currently planning a big day. I knew mostly what I wanted and had a charming fiancé who offered input on things he wanted. We knew the vibe, had some ideas, and let things organically happened as we planned. I was pretty hands off (something I was forced to be while planning a wedding six hours away.)
You know why I feel bad for current brides? They are bombarded with the idea of what is right, of what is the only way to do things, and with the fact that they must have burlap table runners and mason jars filled with babys breath. Pinterest stole their vision and made it into someone else’s wedding through visuals that might never come into fruition (and shouldn’t for that matter.) Brides are under scrutiny for the decisions they make and they are so heavily influenced by what they have viewed elsewhere that they forget about the days when they would put on their mothers slip and wrap their head in a lace table cloth and prance around the house. I’ve already told you – our wedding wasn’t perfect, not in the least – but it was the best day ever and something I will never forget.
What do I make of all of this? Sure, I can relate to my brides – I’ve been there, done that, but my hindsight is 20/20. I know what I remember most about my day, I remember the stress of making a seating chart or waiting for RSVPS, I still get that butterfly feeling moments before everyone walks down the aisle… but I also know that it’s easy to get caught up in the details, to want what other people had, to hope that you can recreate someone else’s moments in hopes of making your day the BEST day ever. Here’s what I want you to know: follow your gut, choose your own vision – not someone else’s, be okay with stepping away from the norm and making the next trend, forget about the details and focus on the moments. Sure, I may not be the most recent bride and I’m actually happy about that, when I look back at our day I see pieces to the puzzle that describes us. Did we have cafe lights and an ice-cream sundae bar? No. Am I mad about it? Not in the least, we did what was us and that’s all I could ask for.
What’s the point of this series? I want brides to know I don’t expect perfection – in fact, I laugh at the idea of the perfect wedding. I’m telling you, it’s going to be the best day ever (but it isn’t going to be perfect and darling, life isn’t perfect.) I’m not saying Pinterest isn’t a valuable tool but it gives brides unrealistic expectations and clouds their vision through images of strangers weddings. It puts pressure on the perfect aspect of the day and let me tell you – after shooting over 50 weddings, I am the first to tell you that no day is absolutely perfect. Each day holds flaws that make it real, relevant, and breathtakingly beautiful. Focus on the moments, forget the details and you won’t have a single regret from your imperfectly perfect day, pinky promise.
(Photos by our dear friends: on3design)
Read more on this awesome topic and life as a pre-Pinterest bride:
Thank you for this. I SO needed this reminder!