In Our Time of Loss : Baby Kutcher

March 11, 2016



I had thought a lot about this post, silly right? I dreamed of the day that we could share with the world that we were pregnant. I brainstormed and dreamed and tried to think of a creative way to tell the world that we were having a baby. I dreamt of a blog series of maternity outfits, nursery themes, and tips for expectant moms. After almost five years of marriage, we were FINALLY telling the “big news” people had been waiting to hear. I wanted it to be one of a kind, memorable, something you’d never forget.. but something tells me might not forget this post. While we were in Hawaii we found out we were pregnant! It wasn’t in a glamorous way, we actually found out in a public restroom before a luau. (So true to the hilarity in our lives!) I had already drafted a post about the story and had content scheduled for a week from now, when we hit the safe zone of pregnancy. We laughed at how it unfolded but quickly settled into our new and exciting norm. The moment I found out I was pregnant was the moment I became a mom. 

Drew was ecstatic when we found out. The first night I couldn’t sleep. I was already thinking about the day we would send our kiddo to kindergarten, battling the teens, and someday college. My mind was in overdrive and sleep just simply wasn’t an option with the news we had received loud and clear. Drew stayed up the whole plane ride home from Hawaii and read a book about being a dad. We ordered the parenting books, started praying over our baby, downloaded the apps, ordered the maternity yoga pants, and cute little outfits for our peanut. We dreamed of the nursery, the sleepless nights, what he or she would look like. We shared the news with our close friends and families, we recorded the phone calls of announcing hoping to make a fun video for our baby to see someday and to know how loved they were from the very beginning. For the last ten weeks (almost eleven) I have carried, cared for, and loved this baby. But God had a different plan for us. Before you get excited or comment, “congratulations” without reading the rest, we will lose our precious baby.

It may sound weird but when we first found out we were pregnant, we talked about what we would do if this were the road we were asked to walk. This had always been a fear for me. There was something in the pit of my being that knew there would be more to our story of starting a family and that fear only grew as my pregnancy continued. Little did we know, we were on the road of loss, of miscarriage. We knew we would want to share, why? We’ve watched our friends go through miscarriage and do so in painful silence, we knew that we would need time and space to grieve and might not be able to ask for it, we also knew that God gave me this platform for a reason bigger than myself, lastly, we wanted so share so that we would have others praying for us.

Our first ultrasound was straight out of a movie, that day had felt like Christmas, we were eager to hear that heartbeat. We had our camera ready to capture the sound of that heart beating next to mine, I wanted to catch the tears when we heard our baby was alive and well.  But suddenly there was silence, we could tell something was wrong right away but we remained hopeful. When you hear the words, “there is no heartbeat,” time stands absolutely still. I felt trapped, I wanted to get out of the office right then and there. Drew fainted, it was pure chaos, he was being cared for and the staff was incredible, but all I wanted to do was leave so I could cry. I forgot the the ultrasound photos at the doctors office and made it to the car in a hurry before I completely crumbled. I felt this pull to tell everyone, to get the prayer warriors out on our behalf in full force. This past week has been filled with waiting, praying, hope, and grief. We have been surrounded by so many prayers, so much love, so much grace. We are so thankful we shared the news of our little babe so that we could have a community surrounding us in our time of need.

I can’t sum up how it feels knowing that your baby might not be alive. I have laid my hands on my belly and willed it to live, I have begged God to change it, but somehow I started to feel peace: peace that this was part of our story, that this might be a way for me to change lives, that our little baby could be honored in sharing the story. My body has already changed so much to support this life, my heart changed the minute that test read positive, my vision for what our family would look like changed, too, and that’s just the start of it. So many people tell me they have had a miscarriage but they don’t talk beyond that. They don’t talk about the emptiness you feel, the frustration with the weight you have gained, the confusion of the hormones still surging your body, the fear that every stomach ache means the worst is coming, the checking and double checking to see if there is blood every time you use the restroom, the emotional toll it takes on your brain, or the way it can pull at your marriage that you cling so tightly to. My body is still holding onto this little life, it can’t let go, which makes the toll even harder as my pregnancy “progresses” with out a live baby inside of me.

I don’t know what is next for us, but for now I just ask you to stand by us and know that you are not alone if this has (or will) happen to you. We need to start the conversation about miscarriage. We need to break the silence. We need to bring it out of the dark and into the light. We need to stand together as parents, as women, as mothers, we need to lift one another up and celebrate life – no matter what stage it is at. If this has taught me anything, it is this: do not judge, you don’t know what storms I have asked her to walk through. The next time you want to pester someone about having kids, or you ask someone why they have yet to start a family, or how they couldn’t love a baby – remember the storms they may be silently facing. I want us to come to celebrate the first little baby Kutcher and the months we spent together growing. I don’t want us to feel shame or grief alone, I don’t want to feel angry when I see birth announcements or healthy babies, I don’t want to scream when I see people complaining about being pregnant or being a parent, I want to feel human as this form of motherhood settles as my new norm.

If there is any way to honor this baby, I think it’s in acknowledging that it was loved and it existed and it stands for something bigger than the embryo it was. Please, help us celebrate this little babe and if we can ask for anything, it would be prayers. On Wednesday we will say goodbye to the beautiful little life we made together.





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  1. Vashti Collins says:

    I responded to your newsletter earlier this week and kind of felt a sort of connection of the journey you were going on, didn’t know what you were going through but felt the need to respond to you. But as someone who has been in these shoes you are in, I do believe that the story does need to be told. I do believe that people need to know about it and I have told my story on my blog. I hope since you have a larger following that people take the time to read and understand because it is something that is hard and difficult and the need the right words.

  2. Mary Ness says:

    Jenna, so very sorry for your loss, May you a n d Drew find comfort and peace knowing a lot of people are praying for you.

  3. Amy Kolodziej says:

    I am so sorry Jenna. I lost my first baby in the exact way: an ultrasound without a heartbeat when everything I’d ever seen was the cute videos of the first time you hear that thump-thump. I was devastated and no one understood why. “You are lucky it happened early,” they said. “It is probably for the best, something was obviously not right.” <--- Those words right there from dear friends and family made me feel guilty for mourning my baby. You DO become a mother the minute that second line shows up and you DO have every right (and need) to mourn the loss of your child and the excitement that had built upon a life that was cut much too short. I will pray for you to heal, and know that every day it will get easier...but you will never forget this sweet life.

  4. Ashley Joy Kuehnel says:

    You are extremely brave. I saw you at the WI bride event and wanted to introduce myself becasue I have always been a fan of your strength. Too many stories fly through my mind as you share your own and I will tell you people will take away a great deal from your ability to open this line of conversation. More common than anyone realizes and tragic no matter what the circumstance. Your time will come and you will be a stronger mother, wife, and woman for working through. When they say there are no mistakes and you grow from all experiences I truly belive you will be able to embrace the tragedy and come out tougher. Best wishes to you and thank you for your honesty.

  5. Elysha says:

    So much love and prayers sent your way. Miscarriage and loss have touched my heart deeply and irrevocably. My heart goes out to you and your husband. Hugs and healing thoughts for you both in this difficult time.

  6. Samantha Hayn says:

    I’ve been there, not once but twice. When I first had mine I thought “how could this happen to me” and I had no idea it was such a common occurance, since no one ever talked openly about it or had shared their experiences with it. So I made it a goal to be as open about it as possible in hopes of making it easier for those who go through it to have someone to speak to in their time of greif. Your post was very touching and inspiring. Everything happens for a reason and I commend you for being so brave, and taking it as graciously as humanly possible. Best wishes girly!! <3 x0x0

  7. Keri Ann Messina says:

    I also lost my first baby. Words of comfort that have always stuck with me are, “God considered your baby too precious to have to walk this earth.” Still brings me to tears to this day.

    2 Corinthians 1: 3-5

    • Hannah says:

      I’m a student in your mom’s class nursing class. She’s talked numerous times of how proud she is of you and what a wise woman you are. So I decided to check out your blog. Which then led me to your Instagram. Your mother was right, you are such an inspiration! God has used you in such a wonderful way to encourage others! But Jenna, I am beyond sorry for your loss. I don’t know what else to say, it breaks my heart. But You, your husband, and your family will be in my prayers.

  8. Chelsea H says:

    Hugs and prayers sent your way. I’m so sorry for your and your husband’s loss of your baby. Thank you for giving others grieving a similar loss a voice…

  9. Candi Leonard says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss! Praying for healing and comfort.

  10. Jenna Johnson says:

    My husband and I are currently going through the same exact experience. It’s crazy because this post took the words right out of my mouth–the baby research, app downloading, nursery dreaming, buying summer clothes with a growing belly in mind, the anticipation/ excitement for that first ultrasound appointment then…having the doctor tell you that something isn’t quite right, the waiting in between appointments afterwards, praying for a miracle, the feeling of being pregnant one second then having it gone the next. From one greiving mother to another, I am truly praying for you and know the hurt all too well. Thank you for having the courage to post, its comforting to not be alone.

  11. JoAnna Wahlund says:

    I’m so sorry. We’ve lost four babies and it’s so hard. Prayers for you.

  12. Samantha Brenneman says:

    I am so sorry for your loss! We just found out we are pregnant too, and this has weighed heavily on our hearts… And I keep telling myself exactly what you said. Whatever happens, this baby brought love, hope, and fulfillment to our lives. We are praying for you!

  13. Erica Sofet says:

    I’m sorry for your loss. It brought up a ton of memories from when me and my husband didn’t hear a heartbeat. We felt all the things you felt and it’s something that takes so much out of you. You are so brave for sharing your story, my heart goes out to you

  14. Jordanne Van Wert says:

    Amen girl. The best way is talking about it. We named our sweet baby and I made an ornament for Him on our Christmas tree. It’s still painful and raw, even a whole year later. We found out we lost our baby one year ago tomorrow. Prayers for you and your heart! ❤️

  15. Christina Thomas says:

    I’ve never been pregnant, but I am crying tears with you. I’ll keep you in my prayers. Trust in God’s plan.

  16. Leslie Hunley Sholly says:

    I lost my last baby. Hearing from others who had losses did help, and your sharing will help other people too. Y’all are in my prayers.

  17. Jacqueline Parma says:

    Your post ripped my heart out. We have 2 little saints in heaven and every time I think I am on the way to being OK I realize I am not OK. I am not OK with not having my baby in my arms. I am not OK with not being able to get pregnant in the last 1.5 years. I am not OK with someone telling me “I will have a baby eventually and I won’t even remember this pain.” I hurt now and I hurt always. The pain stays, the fear of loss with the next pregnancy stays, and the crushing feeling of lost hope stays. I wish I could tell you that if you pray enough it won’t hurt as bad….that would be a lie. It hurts just as bad but you have better tools to make it through the day. So pray, pray for your little saint and your husband and we will pray for you.

  18. Anna Marie Arpasi says:

    This post is everything! I seriously feel the same way but didn’t know how to say it! There are so many women facing this struggle, it’s so real. We are going on month 7 of trying for another after losing our baby in August….and it is so painful, especially this being the month of the due date. I want to talk about it all the time, I want to process, I want to help other people through it…but people are awkward and no one knows what to say and so they don’t say anything. You are in my prayers, esepcially on Wed becuase if you are having a D&C which I did, I was super emotional. But you will get through it, and it DOES get easier! Thank you for this post!

  19. Christina Marie King says:

    I wrote about mine, I hope it helps

  20. Kristin Michelle says:

    Jenna, I am so sorry for your loss. You beautifully photographed my friends wedding and in a short time I realized how sweet of a person you are and I have followed some of your posts. After reading this one I have to say how extremely brave and courageous it was of you to share. My prayers are with you and yours and I hope the best for your future and God’s path for you.

  21. Karen Macaulay says:

    Oh, Jenna, I am so sorry that you are joining this family of women who have loved so joyfully and lost so quickly. I feel this pain with you, and you and your whole family are in my heart and in my prayers.

  22. Shari Hugelen Reuer says:

    So sorry for your loss…

  23. Jennifer Verroi says:

    Oh Jenna I am so sorry. I will be praying for you and your husband <3

  24. Missy Smolek says:

    Thank you for sharing. We went through this in Nov, was our 3rd baby. I also eventually shared a poignant post and it was overwhelming in an amazing way, the outpouring of love and support. I work in ob/gyn, have for 12 yrs, and have gone through this with so many patients, family, and friends over the years but going through it firsthand was a whole new thing on every level. It’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, and yes…that baby lived and existes for a purpose given by God. And I know this wasn’t something God did to us, but was there with us through it. My heart goes out to you and all of us that have been through this.

  25. Mikaela Dunaisky says:

    My love is with you❤️

  26. Jennifer Smith says:

    Miscarriage takes more then just your babies from you. It takes your joy of being pregnant from you as well. I had 2 prior to having my daughter and I spent the whole pregnancy in constant fear. I checked for blood every time I went to the bathroom. Every cramp or ache I swore was the end. I dreaded every ultrasound appt and check up. I regret that I let my fear of losing her take over and didn’t get to enjoy the pregnancy that I worked so hard to achieve.

  27. Kendra Michelle says:

    So very sorry for your loss!!! We also lost ours in November 2015. Hugs and prayers to you and thank you for sharing your story!

  28. Tammie Pinckard says:

    Jenna, my heart hurts for you. You’ve put into words an experience I share with you. Thank you. GOD is amazing and HE will keep you close through this journey. Trust HIM as HE is faithful.

  29. Jill says:

    Prayers for you and your husband. Unfortunately I know this exact loss. My sweet angel baby left us in 1999 on this date, and I still yearn to know what they would have looked like, how their voice sounded, and how their little hand would have felt in mine. You are in my thoughts.

  30. Deborah Zoe says:

    We experienced our first miscarriage in September — and crazy enough — my husband ALSO passed out while we were in the emergency room. He had to be admitted into the same room I was in!! I relate so much to your story and I just wanted to share that my heart is with you and your hubby as you walk through this. There is no right or wrong reaction or way to feel, no right or wrong way to handle any of this. It’s hard and it sucks… you take whatever amount of time you need to grieve and process what has happened. You’re not alone and thank you for sharing your story!!

  31. Deborah Zoe says:

    I’m not sure where my comment went but I wanted to share — We experienced our first miscarriage this past September and — oddly enough — my hubby passed out in the emergency room too!! He had to be admitted alongside me, geez!! There is no right or wrong way to feel, just feel. There is no right or wrong way to react either. You take as much time as you need to process and grieve what has happened to you. My heart and prayers are with you and your Hubby as you walk through this experience and I ask that God will fill you with peace and assurance. You’re not alone, thank you for sharing your story!!

  32. Amber Gilliam says:

    Your words are mine. I lost my baby this Thur after seeing a heartbeat on the ultrasound just two days before. I am awaiting a D&C this coming week. Yesterday it was confirmed the baby is no longer alive but my body is, as you said so eloquently, holding on to my precious baby. I too feel we need to speak about it. We are now sisters not only in motherhood but in the most painful way. Thank you for sharing and know you are not alone. Your words helped me and I know they will help our sisters out there as well. Love and peace to you.

  33. Angela Wigaard says:

    This story is oh so familiar to me. I feel so deeply for your loss. I experienced the exact same story 6 years ago. It tore my husband and I up. The bright side for us was that 13 months later we welcomed our daughter and gods plan made perfect sense. Two and a half years later our son entered the world. The sadness remains but my heart is also very full and I can’t imagine life with out all my children. God be with you in this journey.

  34. Trudy Sulita says:

    Thoughts and prayers. I never lost a baby to miscarriage so I cannot begin to understand, but your words have love intermingled in them. I will pray that God continues to wrap you in His healing embrace and grant you peace.

  35. Donna Kleiner-Lichtman says:

    Where will the memorial be held?

  36. Barbara Church Hunter says:

    My heart hurts for you. We lost our baby just a day before 12 weeks, although his little heart stopped beating sometime after our ultrasound at 8 weeks.

    Our baby was developed enough to see & hold when I miscarried. we ordered a tiny casket from & buried our sweet baby in a large planter. We potted a lime tree over top.

  37. Rachel Williams Grimes says:

    This book helped me. There is no loss like it.

  38. Julie Ann Cook says:

    Thank you for sharing your story, Jenna. Having lost three little ones, I too feel the need to freely share their stories. It gives them meaning. It adds to that conversation. And hopefully it will make the next mother or couple to ensure such loss feel a little less alone.

    Prayers for your healing and peace of spirit. <3

  39. Jennifer Bahn Sullivan says:

    Jenna, I am so very sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing it. Your story is like a replica of mine, almost exactly, only ours was almost exactly 6 years ago. We however had an unbelievable positive test after taking a 3 month break after a year of infertility treatments. But, no heartbeat at my first ultrasound at 8 weeks. Chose to let nature take its course and lost the pregnancy fully 2 weeks later. We would go on to get pregnant 6 months later through intrauterine insemination but lost that one only 1 week after our positive test. Fast forward after more years of infertility treatments, we are now on the adoption rollercoaster for 3 years. I don’t know if I ever will be a mother to an earthly child, but thank you for reminding me that I was a mother as soon as that first test was positive. I do feel I am a mother in my heart, and I will meet those babies someday. Keep sharing your story because it validates all of ours. Love to you.

  40. Katie Tsilosani says:

    Please reach out to Robin Boudreau on Facebook and No Foot Too Small. It would be wonderful for you to connect and let her help you join in celebrating this blessing!

  41. SamKang MiriamElossais says:

    I can’t tell you how sorry I am to hear of your loss. I had 2 miscarriages myself and you described it perfectly. There’s so much pain that comes with it, but I hope you two find peace in knowing you have so many praying for you. Thank God for the sign you ARE able to get pregnant. Many blessings to you all!

  42. Brandi Williams says:

    My mouse hovered over this for at least 30 seconds, I wasn’t sure if my heart could handle it or not. We went through this in early 2012, my heart goes out to you and your family, Jenna. You are so brave. Two things: trust in God’s timing & trust in his grace. I’ll be praying for you.

  43. Tri SweetE-Erika Mitchell says:

    I feel like I just read my own story, the words “there is no heartbeat” still burn my heart and soul. I lost a piece of me that day-12 days ago. I fell in love with my baby the instant I learned I was pregnant, and I still love “him” and ache for him.
    I work in healthcare, I’m very educated-I even asked the doctors if there was anyway he could somehow come back, if somehow that heartbeat would start. I knew the answer and I knew it was silly to ask, but I had to ask-I had to know for me and to hear it, to be certain.
    I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending you many hugs.

  44. Deeann says:

    My husband and I were told we couldn’t have children because I have severe rheumatoid arthritis. It has been hard with all the baby showers as my friends became pregnant. I’m constantly asked when I will have kids or for the people who know my situation told of their troubles with their own kids. I believe God has a purpose and am following his path but it is hard. I will be praying for you and your husband.

  45. Beck Anne says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. I truly am. And I am so proud of you for sharing. I have travelled this road a few times now, and it is not easy. I found it hard to tell people, because friends and family didn’t know what to say, or how to comfort. I have had my fair share of insensitivity, ” Oh well. Your husband only wanted two kids. He must be relieved.” (Followed by a laugh). It hurts. It can be lonely, there is guilt, anger, and days where eyelids are heavy from tears. You will not simply get over it, like you said it becomes a part of your life. You learn to live with it. And it is ok, even if you have other kids one day, to have a quick cry when a due date rolls around again. I was blessed with two little girls, and they each were concieved after two miscarriages. I have gone on to have two more in the past six months. It is so hard. But God always promises me, “Joy comes in the morning.” And the joys might be looking across at the man I married, knowing he is always going to be there for me, or a good meal with friends. You will find joy in the every day.

  46. Kate Hickman says:

    Jenna you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I am so very sorry for your loss. I truly admire your willingness to be open and authentic and share so that you might help others feel not alone, not only in the smaller struggles, but in the bigger ones as well. Know that you are loved and prayed over!

  47. Kate says:

    Oh how truly sorry I am for you all. We lost our baby girl at 18 weeks back in October and I still have not recovered. I will be praying for you. Thank you for all that you wrote in this blog. My baby girl was more than just fetus- she was hope and love and a future life that I cry for every day. I hope we both can find the peace that we need….

  48. Sara Farnham says:

    I am also mourning the recent loss of my first child, and I appreciate you sharing your story. I said goodbye to my little nugget due to an ectopic pregnancy last month. We endured multiple procedures to remove the little one, but he/she was just too stubborn to let go. I like to think they got that from me. I hope that our beautiful little ones can play together up in heaven. Someone told me that all the stars in the sky are little munchkins looking over their parents. I still cry on clear nights when the stars are really bright. I hope that you find peace and comfort in knowing that you were able to conceive one of God’s children. Though it was only for a short while.

  49. Jenna says:

    Tears here for you and your family. But also a feeling of sacred celebration at the brief but valuable life of your little one. I know that you will meet and get to raise this precious baby in the life hereafter and that you will be honored for the grief and pain you have and will go through, because you are mother to a soul whose earthly journey was so short. Sending love, prayers and support from one mother to another ..

  50. Shelley Freng Burnett says:

    I am so so sorry for your loss. Hearing these stories literally sucks the breath from my chest. We too found out at our 20 week ultrasound that our baby was no longer alive, and then had to wait to be induced. I am praying for you all so hard, and for your precious angel baby. I pray that you feel the loving embrace of God on Wednesday. God belss you, momma. “I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.”

  51. Janet Mixon Cunningham says:

    I lived through the same thing 30 years ago. I hadn’t told family because my sister was expecting her first in a few weeks and I wanted her to have all the excitement, this would have been my third. It is heartbreaking when they tell you there’s no heartbeat. I didn’t tell anyone for years so I didn’t have anyone to grieve with me, my husband didn’t understand, the baby hadn’t become real to him yet. I had two healthy babies after. You will be in my prayers.

  52. Elizabeth Dresang says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this, I was going through this same thing actually at the very same time, I had the same ultra sound results at 8 weeks on March 14th and lost the baby on the 15th. Not more than a couple days later a friend of mine commented on your blog, I started reading it but it was too new and close to home for me to finish at that time. I finally felt able to read it today and even though I sit here in tears I have a sense of comfort and peace. You’re right it is something that shouldn’t just be pushed away and forgotten about, while I want to move on, I will always remember this time and how it actually brought my husband and I closer. Thinking of you guys and your little one always in your heart.

  53. Alici says:

    I so love reading your blog–it’s one of my very favorite blogs to read and one I frequent more than any other and this devastates me to read. I’m so so sad to hear that you had to go through such a terrible loss and as a woman, I feel the loss deeply for you. I pray that God fills your heart where your hands are empty and that you deeply sense His nearness and brokenness for you guys. May your little one be honored greatly. <3 <3 <3

  54. Annie says:

    Dear Jenna,

    I’m so deeply sorry for the loss of your baby. What a beautiful tribute you’ve written for your precious child. While I have never had a miscarriage, my parents lost their last baby due to miscarriage, and I still think of my youngest sibling who was never born and the incredibly loss we all suffered — even many years later. People often dismiss this topic and don’t want to talk about it. The grief is real and I am praying for you, your husband, and your family. Thank you so much for sharing your life in a very real and vulnerable way. God bless you in this very difficult time.

    Love to you all,

  55. Cassie Fulmer says:

    Your words have always been an inspiration to me. When you first wrote that first post about your loss, I had already been through hell all before I turned 26. I had one miscarriage, and also a 25 weeker that weighed 14.5 ounces when born, who had fought a hard 4 month battle. I remember reading your words and thinking you were such a brave soul for putting your heart out there. No one talks about infant loss, and no one knows how to react to you once it’s happened. Know that your words are making a difference on how people think and talk about miscarriage. Sending you all the love and well wishes for your family this week, and every week after.

  56. Ellen Mitchell says:

    I found your blog through your podcast with the freckled fox and you are such a God sent angel to me at this time. I just suffered my second miscarriage and the grief is unimaginable. The loneliness, sadness, and fear is almost too much to handle. After praying and begging God for understanding and peace and waiting for it to hopefully suddenly appear. Thank you so much for speaking out on this. It is one of the loneliest things a woman goes through because no other women know what to say.

  57. Danielle H. says:

    Today I wrote a post on our first miscarriage myself as today was our due date. Praying and helping break the silence alongside you sister.

  58. Bethany says:

    May I ask… What did you do with the recordings of your families’ reactions? My husband and I recently went through a very similar experience and I don’t know what to do with those early, exciting, and now painful memories?

  59. Lucia says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. Did you give your baby a name? We lost our son last year as he was stillborn. I found a lot of people avoided us afterwards as they didn’t know what to say and didn’t want an awkward conversation. But the true friends let me talk about my son and help to keep his memory alive. I think talking about your baby and your experience is so important and doing it in such a public way is commendable – it seems almost a taboo subject but until it is talked about openly that won’t change and its silly really as most mums of little angels just want to be able to talk about their babies, to keep the memory of them alive. Someone told me that the pain of losing a child never goes away, it just becomes easier to bear and I believe that. We have tried to celebrate our boy’s short life in as many ways as possible, planting a tree, sparkler fireworks, finding a special spot in the countryside that we think of as his and go to each time there is an anniversary, a memory box, jewellery etc so I can feel like he is here with us and each of those things, adds a little bit of peace. I hope you and your husband find some peace after your loss.

  60. Anna says:

    I have been listening to your podcast for some time and thought I’d come find your post about miscarriage – because today we took our other children to the hospital to hear our baby’s heartbeat – and it wasn’t there. Like you, right at about 11 weeks. Our hearts hurt, but we trust God’s plan for our lives. I can only imagine how hard it continues to be for you. I’ll remember you in my prayers.

  61. Alvin Gee says:

    Thanks for sharing. I had an older brother that I never knew that passed away at birth. I wonder how my life could have been more enriched if he had lived.

  62. Jenna, I”m so sorry for your loss. However, I wanted to thank you for sharing this story! I haven’t lost a child but I am currently battling infertility and reading others’ stories really means a lot to me and helps me deal with what I’m going through. I have the utmost respect for you for sharing this story and wanted to let you know that putting yourself out there really has positively impacted others! Thank you!

  63. Naomi says:

    I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing, I agree a 100%, we become a mother from the very beginning of life and every life is precious and worthy of love and dignity. Announcing early has always meant celebrating early to me because death doesn’t care if you waited to tell or not. May you grieve with hope and the love and support of your family and friends. Prayers for you both.

  64. Whitney says:

    The best thing for me after my miscarriage was to open up about it & share our story so we could start the healing process without the comments of “when are you gonna have a baby” or “are you pregnant yet?” Thanks for sharing your story! Know you are not alone on the miscarriage journey, lots of women feel your pain!

  65. […] Here is an article by Jenna Kutcher that helped me. […]

  66. […] if we don’t check all those boxes. We are complete. I also hope, as Jenna Kutcher writes in her post on the time of loss and miscarriage, that you start to feel peace: peace that this is a part of […]



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