it’s been awhile since i talked about this struggle of mine. sometimes i drop hints, other times i remove the curtain and open the floodgates to the true state of my being and what sort of things eat away at me. don’t get me wrong, i am an exceptionally happy and confident person but since leaving the corporate world a year ago, i have made a life for myself that involves seclusion, isolation, and lot a petty little struggles that come with my line of work. i got a ton of emails, messages, and comments on the last post i wrote about comparing ourselves to others so i figured i would follow up and share where i am at with this little demon.
i stumbled upon this quote and wanted to paint it all over my walls, ceilings, face… virtually every space i could to remind me of this truth. we were not created to all go with the flow, i want to swim against the current. i want to stand out. because we are his, god has set us apart to be different. he does not want us to squeeze into the mold set by everyone else, i am not made to fit the mold.
“just because everyone is going in one direction, doesn’t mean you should, too.
everyone could be wrong. follow the narrow path.”
much easier said then done, can i get an AMEN? i posted on instagram this quote that i have been using as my mantra these past few weeks. i recite it in my life, my sleep, whenever i start to get that itch that i am not enough: comparison is the thief of joy. but beyond just joy it robs of us joy, experience, triumph. it eats away at us day by day as we struggle with wondering if we are enough, if we are worthy. whether you are comparing your job, your business, your home, your family, your body, your capabilities, or your spiritual life, you are robbing yourself of experience. i am being so incredibly honest because at some point you realize you are exhausted of feeling this way and need to move on and move up. that is the first step to getting back your life.
it is up to you to make the choice, do you want to go with the flow or follow the narrow path and do you. being yourself means taking your flaws, your talents, your triumphs and failures and owning them through and through. much easier said than done, eh? it is choosing to say “yes” to what is important to your growth and saying “no” to the things that constantly hold you back. it is being selfish in a way of guarding your heart and protecting your confidence. it is following your dreams with reckless abandonment and leaving behind those who don’t support you. it is critical that your continue to surround yourself with those who dream as wildly and vividly as you.
so on my quest to stop the silly comparison game, here are a few changes i have made.
1.) only follow those who inspire you: whether you remove your subscription from blogs, unlike facebook pages, stop following tweets, or throw away articles, you need to remove the people that evoke that doubt within you. keep a short list of people who continue to push and support you and forget the rest. i promise this is good for your soul.
2.) set goals and share them: sitting down weekly/monthly and writing down goals and dreams is so important to paving your own way. share them with a small number of people for accountability and support and push. make a screensaver to remind you of those goals or post them on your office wall. whenever you get in a funk, start dreaming again and reach out to those individuals who will lift you back up.
3.) pray about it: i have started a few new devotionals to help me center my thoughts and my day. stopping to realize that my problems are tiny in the scheme of life helps keep me on track and pushing on. reading truth and reminders help me to realize that i am made to be me and not anyone else, that media is toxic and truth isn’t. using a quiet time to center my thoughts for the day helps me stay focused and break up what i need to get done in small projects so that i seldom feel overwhelmed.
4.) run away from the norm: when you start to feel yourself conforming. branch out and do something that surprises yourself. in an industry where norms are created faster than my afternoon sandwich, it is so important to figure out what makes you different and use that as your inspiration to stay above the curve. highlight your qualities that set you apart and run away from from what everyone else is doing. we weren’t made to fit a mold so stop trying to…
comparison is the thief of joy, friends, just remember that!
Love this post. My fave part is the “run away from the norm”, because ultimately, that it is what is going to set you apart and stand out. We all struggle with this topic, so thanks for being a voice!
As always, love reading these! And love that you made a Part II. Such wonderful and inspiring words of wisdom for all of us to open our eyes too. Especially love this, “just because everyone is going in one direction, doesn’t mean you should too. everyone could be wrong. follow the narrow path.” I think all too often we lose sight of where our own path is and what the purpose of that path means. It’s nice to see those little reminders or pick me ups to help get us back to where we are meant to travel, to where we know we belong.
Really enjoying reading your blog, as photogs we can easily get caught up in the comparison game. We forget (me especially) that the great things happen when someone thinks completely differently. As a fan of the Shameless show I loved the end of this clip where Lip is talking to the MIT recruiter about why he doesn’t want to go to MIT… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Zx2Qy6rrpw
Such wonderful advice, Jenna! Thanks for following up with a Part II…this is exactly what I needed to read this morning:)
Wow…. such a GOOD post!! Thanks for opening up once again and sharing your true feelings and struggles! : ) I always get inspired by reading your posts…. honest!!! : )
Absolutely true! Comparison does not ever lead to somewhere wonderful! Thank-you for being open!
Well said, I couldn’t agree more. It is important to find those people that are positive motivators for yourself and choose to follow those individuals. If something or someone is bringing you down then it is your choice to no longer foloow that person. Well said, great points 🙂
Jenn this is such a great post!!! Comparing is something that never brings the best attitude in a person. I love the tip on selecting only a few blogs to follow that inspire you.
Exactly what I needed to hear. I love your list of suggestions as well. I often forget to pray about these types of things because it is so easy to separate my business from my spiritual life. But that is the exact opposite! Lovely post.
All I can say is that this was exactly what I needed today…..took my breath away and wanted to say thank you on so many different levels! Not only for you being so honest but for helping me in an area that I have struggled with a lot…..more intensely in the last few months. You have/are a gift Jenna and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being exactly who God made you to be. Keep being the inspiration that you are to so many and never doubt for a second the joy and comfort you bring to people! Thank you again!!!
Such good words. Thank you for this.
Such great advice! Thank you for being so open! 🙂
Love this. I know I’m guilty of this awful comparing thing! Thank you for being so helpful and honest <3
Thank you so much for sharing this, glad to know I’m not the only one comparing myself to other photographers. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability!
Sooo true! I am always going up and down with how I feel about myself, my work, my life. I am my worst critique and Kel is always getting mad at me for it. So good to remind ourselves to be positive and focus on the things that build us up 🙂
amen, amen, amen and AMEN! thanks for this, jenna! comparison is the thief of joy, got that written on my office wall today 🙂
Nice post and a great reminder! It’s too easy to compare ourselves to others and focus on our insecurities – we are all guilty of it. Good for you for bringing it to light because it makes everyone feel as if they aren’t so alone.
Thank you Jenna. I had a very rough day and week. I’ve been pushing myself to do and be everything I can and today things really caught up to me. This article was a pick me up and reminded me of why I try so hard. Thank you for the encouragement. 🙂 Love you dear.
So very true, and something I can relate to. You are not alone. Love the point about following only those we are inspired by. Surrounding ourselves with positives and thinking about a life we love leads us there!
This is my entire life. It is like you read my mind and typed my thoughts. Thank you for the positive words!
I can write now after reading this a few times. I will say that I’ve always chosen to paddle upstream and I married a guy that is in the boat with me. My issue comes with trying to convince others that we aren’t odd in our choices. I mean who else drives a semi truck with their husband AND home schools their 8 yr old AND has 2 large goofy dogs AND believes that a photography business is in their future? Who does that? Me, I guess. ReSTARt is the first and only forum style networking I’ve gone because I never feel like I fit in. This gives me food for thought. Thank you.
Jenna, I love this post. This is exactly what I needed at the perfect moment. Thanks for sharing your heart and being honest! Keep it up, lady!