It’s there, you are blinded by it, and you can’t stop staring at that ring finger as the rock glistens in the sun. You’ve never thought your finger could look SO good and yet it does. Chances are, hours – even minutes after this gem appeared in your life, the questions began: when is the big day? What colors are you choosing? How many bridesmaids will you have? Will there by bacon wrapped scallops (this is just my personal question, asking for a friend… you know.)
You went from being a girlfriend to a wedding planner after one little question and now you have found yourself trying to plan the biggest event of your life. Let’s be honest, the biggest thing you’ve planned before this was a ladies night in with Franzia served with Ritz crackers and blocks of cheese. Suddenly you’re thinking about place settings, floral arrangements, and hors d’oeuvres (you know I had to google how to spell that one!) If we’re being honest, it’s a total “fake it ’til you make it strategy” and we’re kicking ourselves for thinking Jennifer Lopez had an easy job in the Wedding Planner.
The hardest part of planning a wedding is seeing beyond all the details, all the blush and gold and sequins, and remembering that you are planning a marriage. Say what? You thought I was going to tell you that picking your first song was the hardest thing? Or that knowing which fork to use for each course would get ya? Nope, it’s all about remembering the “why” behind each decision you’re about to face – and I’ll let you in on a secret, the focus shouldn’t be on creating a Pinterest perfect event, it should be in creating an event that screams YOU.
I was 22 when I took on the title of “wedding planner.” I had barely been able to legally drink wine for a year and suddenly I found myself with a binder, spreadsheets, and a calculator trying to figure out how we would plan an event for 200+ people and not go into a mountain of debt. We were fresh out of college, living separately, and trying to plan a wedding in a location that was a solid six hours away from us. It was the pre-Pinterest era (I just dated myself, didn’t I) and all we had were scraps of paper ripped out of wedding magazines to guide us. We were basically in the dark without a lamp and trying to navigate life from boyfriend/girlfriend to fiance to husband/wife as gracefully as we could.
Looking back, I am glad we made some sacrifices: we had farmers market flowers, served gourmet pizza for dinner, had cheese puffs as a favor, and danced to the music of a local folk band. It wasn’t the event of the year, but it was so “us.” Our goal for the wedding was simple: let people see us for who we are, not just as individuals, but as a couple. We wanted a marriage more beautiful than our wedding and almost five years deep in the game, I can proudly say we did that. It’s just one day – a magnificent one – but one day of many where you’re asked to do life together. The hardest part of planning a wedding is not getting swept away in the million questions that surely will come and instead answering this simple one: are we working to plan a marriage more beautiful than our wedding day?
And hey, I am only taking a limited number of weddings for 2017 (and am half booked already!) If you’re getting married (and planning a beautiful marriage) in 2017, holler at me: hello@jennakutcher.com.–
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I needed this today! I got engaged 3 weeks ago and am already so overwhelmed with planning and this was such a good reminder to focus on what we are actually planning and not get wrapped up in the little things that really don’t matter in the end. Stupid table numbers..