Alright, Goal Diggers, let’s talk about something that usually is pretty hush-hush in the #girlboss world…. navigating marriage as a powerful businesswoman. One of the things that makes me laugh (and frankly makes me a little angry) is when I tell people what I do and they immediately follow up their question with a “What does your husband do?” It’s easy to feel like people treat my job like it’s a hobby and that’s partially my fault because I struggle at sharing the scale of my business but when it comes down to relationship roles, I want to share a few of things we’ve learned as my business has grown from non-existent to a 7-figure empire in the span of our marriage.
It can be difficult to be a woman that is striving for more in her career: It goes against traditional gender roles, people question your priorities, and it’s easy to feel like a workaholic compared to peers… Marriage as a #girlboss can look a little different than the storybook we’ve been told, but that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with it! I love the quote, “Be the CEO your parents hoped you would marry!” Ummm, can we get an amen?
In fact, there is so much that can be RIGHT about it… fulfilling relationships, successful careers, comfortable incomes, driven mindsets. But it DOES require a little work, and today I am going to tell you how to make the most of your marriage as a strong, independent, MARRIED woman!
First things first, Let’s chat about what I mean by a “powerful woman”. For me, I have always thought strategically, I always pushed myself harder than others push me, I am never satisfied with my personal growth. My work style is focused, ambitious, and outcome-driven. I am naturally a go-getting woman, and I’ve learned to embrace that.
At some point, I had to face it. I am a natural businesswoman: who is ambitious, always thinking, deeply cares about her career, driven by success, thinks strategically, and goes the extra mile. And that is AWESOME.
One of the challenges we were forced to overcome was establishing our roles as a couple. We’ve never been entirely traditional, it took Drew awhile to figure out what his passion was and what it would look like for him to pursue it. Ten days before we got married, Drew lost his job which sent us into a spiral of shock. Over the last 6 years he’s had a slew of jobs from selling billboards, to insurance, to wine sales, and finally starting his own business with my total support.
Early on, I was the breadwinner and I’ve always held that role with pride. We both grew up in families where our moms had their masters, our dads did physical labor, and Drew has always respected strong women…. But that isn’t to say it’s sometimes a struggle to figure out what our roles are in our lives. Drew’s work style is more laid back, content, and absolutely full of passion, but lacks action. But where he thrives and I fail looking after the household, cooking and grocery shopping, keeping the dogs happy, walked (and alive), and putting our health first
BUT ITS NOT ALWAYS PERFECT:
Sometimes I feel myself get frustrated with Drew as I mentioned in episode 127 “10 Things I’m Afraid To Tell You” because I want more for him! For example, I want him to think as strategically as I do, want him to want more for himself, want him to push his boundaries…
This can create tension if you let it! It’s easy to get snippy or belittle him, and I have learned to be more gentle with my critiques/advice. And the biggest rule: praise the things they are good at!
A QUICK RULEBOOK TO HONORING ONE ANOTHER’S WORK:
No matter what they do, be there. Offer guidance, but don’t nag and most importantly, ALWAYS be their number one fan. No excuses. Allow them the freedom to chase their dreams.Encouraging one another’s work without nagging the other
HAVE YO’ THANG!
You and your partner have to find your groove and fulfill your own desires while maintaining happiness: Separate interests are a great way to nurture self-care so you can give fully to the relationship it allows you to grow independently while growing together. It’s been important for us to have some things that we do independently from a golf league to girls nights, yoga practice or the Crossfit gym, it’s important that we lead separate lives to some extent so that we feel like we’re pursuing things that we’re excited about. While you may be all into your business, everyone needs a release.
There you have it, Goal Diggers, a real look into how to navigate marriage as a boss lady. You can be strong, and successful, AND still be a gentle, warm, loving woman. You can be both. You just may need to work on the balance of work and play. Because it’s not always easy, but you’re definitely not alone.
If you are feeling like you need a network of like-minded, driven women, I encourage you to join our Facebook group “Goal Digger Podcast Insiders” here. There you will find THOUSANDS of women who are chasing big dreams and will relate to you like no one else ever has. It is a true COMMUNITY, and I’d love to see your name on the list.