As I take a deep breath and reflect on the past year, I find myself in total awe that it’s already time to draft another birthday post. These recent days (well, since Coco was born, really) have been marked by her milestones and months and it always feels a little wild when it comes time to mark my own. While her growth is obvious and her changes show up as a bright red blinking neon sign with every day that passes, mine feels less obvious but oh, so present.
It’s crazy to think of just a year ago, that fear and uncertainty we were all facing. I was reading in the journal we keep for Coco, which chronicles just a few lines each day, and realizing just how intense this last year was. Between the pandemic, the presidential election, the fight for racial justice, and more — it was undoubtedly a heavy year.
My 33-Year-Old Priority:
As I turn the calendar and begin my 33rd year of life, I do so with a lot of hope and with success defined as feeling “peace.” A desire to feel of peace in my life, peace in my work, peace in my body.
In the past year, I’ve not only been challenged in the pivoting required by the changing times but also have been motivated to build a business that doesn’t require my constant online presence. There’s been this draw to disconnect the person whose face lives online from the human who’s actually living.
We’ve been far more disconnected, intentionally. (Heck, Drew deleted Instagram from his phone months ago with zero plans to pop back on!) We’ve been living a little more head down, eyes on our lives, and feeling not as captivated by watching strangers’ lives on the internet pass us by while our own lives are unfolding regardless of if we are present or not.
Since I know everything will blur together, I wanted to jot down a few of my favorite memories of the past year!
My 2020 highlights:
- Heading up to the lake house and quarantining in the woods! With views of Lake Superior, daily walks along the shore listening to Moana, and enjoying a space in a way we likely wouldn’t have been able to without ceased travel.
- Celebrating holidays on our own, as sad it was to be apart from family, it was unique to be able to celebrate Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas on our own, just us three. We enjoyed the simplicity and celebrated all of them at the lake.
- Taking up new hobbies like hiking and biking! From our weekend-long bike rides with Coco in tow to the hikes that we went on. Watching Coco transform from a baby carrier to a confident gal who wanted to hike (and pee in the woods!)
- FaceTime calls with friends and family and learning how to use technology in new ways to stay connected while apart. I started/joined a book club that kept me reading and engaging in conversations around each read and Zoom became second nature.
- Cheering on my mom in her healing journey after a freak accident crushed both of her feet, leaving her wheelchair-bound for months. I am so proud of her strength and optimism and commitment to healing!
- The simplest moments of the days like seeing Drew, Coco, and dogs walk by the office window, out exploring in nature. Coco’s fascination with every single bug. Watching her grow, run, talk, and become a little human and not missing a day with her.
As I watch my baby turn into a little girl, I see just how fleeting time truly is and in that realization, I’ve given myself permission to not speed up (as time is already doing that for me) but to slow down, to not be enamored by the idea of growth but instead allow space for the mission to evolve as I am, giving myself room to breathe and stay true to the mission but without the feeling of frantically chasing it.
One of my greatest joys comes from the fact that I am not on a solo mission to impact the world. I have an incredible team of talented women who are pushing right alongside me. Not only does this team help push, create, dream, ideate, and execute, they also allow this mission to be much bigger than just me, and it sparks such joy to know that I’m not on a solo journey but a part of something that is changing the world with every single post, episode, and item we hit publish on.
There are so many reasons to feel hope and to be excited about what’s next. Looking ahead at this next year of life, I pray that my roots will continue to grow, even in ways that may be invisible to the naked eye. That in my pursuit of slow growth, my limbs will stretch, I will change, and that the seeds being planted today will reap a harvest in the future.
I’m excited for more family time! From exploring northern Minnesota on our bikes or our hikes to the simple “tea parties” on the floor with a million stuffed animals that feel more important than a tea party with a queen. I’m embracing everything because this past year reminded me that everything is a season, it will change, it will always be fleeting, and chances are, when you look back on it, you’ll see all of the learning, the growth, the lessons, and the hope that that season held.