Can I be honest and say that I didn’t really want to do maternity photos? There were a million reasons why I wanted to just skip this session but there was this piece of me that knew that I would treasure these forever and ever (that part won and that part is now saying, “I told you so, Jenna.”) I felt like I had missed the “cute” pregnant window and at 34 weeks, I was well past the pretty baby bump and well on my way to feeling large and in charge.
A lot of people have been asking me how I feel about my changing body but truly, it’s been such a journey. This belly, this weight, these new bumps and lumps are all signs of a miracle and understanding that and owning it has made the transformation so much easier. My husband loves my pregnant body and reminds me of that often (bless him!) so even though I haven’t always loved being pregnant, I love what all of my physical changes symbolize.
The funny thing is, I’ve been photographed throughout my pregnancy thanks to some of the partnerships I’ve taken on, so it’s not like I’ve hid from photos, in fact, I feel like we have a lot of photos of this season of life but one thing that was missing was photos of US together. I get a little sentimental when I realize that this is our last photo shoot together, just the two of us. A decade of memories of just “us” and now we are about to enter this new season together and wonder what the heck we ever did without this little baby.
We did these photos at one of our favorite beaches in Hawaii, Makena Beach! Hawaii played a huge role in our entire journey towards becoming parents. Since this is my third pregnancy, it has felt surreal that it’s truly happening for us. The first two times I found out I was pregnant, I found out on the island. After our losses, I stopped dreaming. The island has been our sort of redemption song, our resting place, the place where we go to remember how to dream again, and so to have these moments captured in a place that feels sacred to us was so special.
As we enter the final countdown towards baby Kutcher, I am trying to embrace each day, embrace every pound, and soak up these final moments of just us two before our world is forever rocked and we finally get to meet our miracle babe. I am so, so thankful I showed up for this shoot because these might be the most special photos we’ve ever taken. After seasons of sadness and rain, it’s finally our time to meet our little rainbow.