These past few weeks I thought a lot about this subject – it’s something we have likely all experienced in life and yet we never really open up about it. I’ve always said that part of the name of the game is to attract and repel – attract the ideal clients, repel the clients that aren’t the right fit – but along with that line sometimes comes criticism and as humans, it sucks. I’ll be the first to say, I have it way easy. I have an sweet following of people who generally like me, understand me, and support me. I don’t get hate mail or have to moderate comments and I am lucky enough to avoid the great deal of criticism that some bloggers and photographers fall prey to. I lay low intentionally because I know that with great success comes great heart ache and that is something I don’t think my soul wants to handle.
Truth be told, that isn’t the case for everyone. It was recently brought to my attention that there is a website filled with forums that serve the purpose of bashing people – literally this site is filled with hateful comments and judgements about people who are so freely sharing their lives and adventures through blogging. I knew I shouldn’t visit it but I had to see if it was real – it is. I legitimately felt like I was going to puke as I scrolled page by page of comments written by people who were hiding behind the keys of their computer as they wrote harsh criticism about people who they clearly follow…. Seriously? This is real? Yes, yes it is and it is sad.
What do I think about it all? I say screw it. If you are a blogger you didn’t start blogging for other people, you started to write for yourself. You thought of it as a way of chronicling your daily endeavors, deep thoughts, and life’s adventures. You didn’t think about the people who would read it and you didn’t do it to see your stats go wild or your “likes” go up. Somewhere in the journey you became caught up: caught up with the numbers, with the comments, with the feedback, and pins… Somehow you forgot about the days when you wrote for yourself and those who wanted to share a slice of your life. You started thinking up posts that would likely gain attention and you forgot that sometimes that attention would bring you haters. The truth of the matter is, you’re doing something right if you aren’t pleasing everyone. You are still doing you and you are putting out material that makes you proud – somewhere along the way you forgot about that girl behind the keyboard who was excited to hit “publish” and you became the girl who overanalyzes every last detail for fear that it will stir some sort of negativity from someone. You let them win and you continue to do so every single time you stifle your joy for fear of what they would say.
I want to tell you to shine on, I want you to know that you are amazing and talented and no amount of negativity will dull your shine. I want you to know that the ten/hundred/thousand people you inspire far outweigh those nasty outliers and I want to convince you that it really isn’t you, it’s them. Even if one single person (ahem, hi mom) reads your blog then you are a huge success. It’s not you, it’s those people who are too fearful to start their own blog and so they instead critique yours and tell you everything you are doing wrong, the ones who hid behind generic names and comment in the message boards, the ones who clearly follow everything you do because they can’t help but be fascinated – but instead of just following they want to bring you down, take away your happiness, and remind you that life isn’t perfect. It’s not – but you never said it was. Instead you chose to chase your dreams and share your vision with the world in hopes of inspiring change and empowering people, don’t let the naysayers take away from true supporters – if you do, they win. They don’t deserve to win, trust me.
So this is my letter to you, sweet blogger, do what makes you happy. Pretend that the only human reading your blog is your mom and put out material that you will stand behind at the end of the day. Smile, have fun, enjoy life and don’t hold back on sharing it. Let them hate, you can’t change them but what you can change is their power to influence you. I believe in you and what you do – please tell me that my voice speaks louder than theirs. You can do this, just as you always have – love beats out hate, every single time. Just do you, be you, and choose joy – I promise the notes on those message boards will fade away and your success with shine. Rise above because I’m proud of you – along with countless others and our cheers will drown out any of the negativity, pinky promise. You’ve got this.
More thoughts on life, love, and my pursuits of happiness:
This is SO awesome! I overanalyze every teeny tiny detail, whether it’s a FB post, a quick Instagram picture, or a sneak peek of my work. I’m scared I’m going to “push” away potential clients if it’s something they don’t like or if I I let my “strong” personality come through. Thanks for this post; AMAZING!
Oh, and the video birth story? Hysterically bawled and hyperventilated while I sat and watched it in my car on Monday. And I don’t even have kids!
And by written, I meant read. Proofreading was something my 15-year-old self sucked at too. But seriously…thank you for what you do.
Unfortunately, as someone whose blog is on that site, the hurt is the complete misunderstanding. How very specific heart wrenching details, that have been shared over time, were twisted to shape a person I very much am not. But, it’s no matter, because they’ve decided already who I a
Bravo! Truth well said. Write on.
Amen sister!