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My baby is 1 YEAR OLD. HOW? Like actually, how did we get here so quickly? This is a special birthday edition of the Goal Digger Podcast and since it’s Coco’s birthday the day it comes out, it seems like the perfect time to welcome my husband and baby daddy Drew Kutcher back to the show.
We gathered your questions and audio messages about life, parenthood, marriage, business, and more, and we’re answering them together in celebration of Conley’s birthday.
I love that Conley will get to go back and listen to us talk about our first year keeping her alive. I hope she loves this episode as much as we do! Maybe she’ll feel a normal dose of embarrassment over her parents when she listens, but for now I’ll assume she thinks we’re cool and funny and AMAZING. She can’t roll her eyes at us yet, at least.
The surprising origin story of her name, what we’re doing as parents that we said we’d NEVER do, and how we’re keeping our marriage in focus with a little babe in the mix — It’s all in this episode.
The first question is from @rj-expressions who asked how we picked Conley Kate’s name. The truth is… We were really torn on names and since we didn’t know if she was going to be a boy or a girl, it actually took us a full 24 hours after she was born to settle on her final moniker.
Conley came to me in my DMs. No joke. Someone with the name Conley messaged me about something and before I even responded to her question I asked if she liked her name. She said yes, she loved being the only Conley she knew and she loved how it’s easy to pronounce and spell. And that’s the long and short version of how she got her name. Her middle name is Kate after my sister.
From @courageously.u: Who do you think she looks like? Drew says, “I think she looks like me… Actually, I think she looks like a baby still.” I laughed at that one.
I personally think she looks like me, but then I see pictures of her and think she’s ALL Drew. It’s really whoever is holding her at the time.
Our Parenting Style
My team asked us: It might be too early to say, but have either of you emerged as the “tough” parent or the softie? Drew is 100-percent the softie, and I’m the one willing to let her cry it out a bit as she figures out the world on her own.
The next question from @cherrelleslaney is: What are 3 things you’ve done (parenting-wise) that you said you’d never do? Confession: There’s like a million.
The top things for me were sticking to a rigid sleep schedule. I never thought we’d be strict about it, but we are 100% rigid and I LOVE it. It’s good for everyone. And secondly, I always said I’d only feed her organic/all-natural/you name it food… And I quickly dropped that. What can I say, she loves mac and cheese!
Also, I said I’d never use the Nosefrida (a contraption that allows you to suck snot out of your baby’s nose). Let me tell you, that is the most AMAZING invention on planet earth. Gross, but SO COOL.
Our Marriage After Baby
I love all of the questions we received, but one audio submission was particularly epic. The summary of the question is this: How do you keep your marriage a focal point with busy lives, a new baby, and a business, too?
As long as I’ve had my business, going on 9 years now, we’ve had a healthy boundary between my business and our marriage. I live the business every day, but Drew doesn’t need to live it, too. I tell him what he needs to know, like what I’m excited about, what’s stressing me out, and what’s going on in a general sense, but we keep that conversation minimal to begin with.
The same goes for Conley talk. When we’re out on dates, it’s easy for us to get on the topic of Coco and all the cute things she did that week, but we’re conscious of keeping the conversation about US, not the business or the baby.
“I love being the behind the scenes person,” Drew shared. Drew said he likes connecting about how I’m doing, not how the business is going, not what specific things I accomplished that day, but asking, “How are YOU doing?” and connecting on that personal level.
Press play to hear my advice for connecting with your personal behind career, business, and baby. I’ll let you know why I’m called the “Queen of 21 Questions”.
Someone asked us about parenting fails and funny moments, and one of the best ones happened when Conley was only a week old. Drew wanted to head to the gym because we were going stir crazy, so we decided to pack Coco up and head out the door to see our gym friends.
The whole time I was feeling like, what are people talking about? It’s so easy to get a newborn out the door! About 10 minutes later we realized we forgot the diaper bag. Whoops.
There’s also been a few times when she’s needed a diaper and outfit change in the most inconvenient of places. Like one time in church in Hawaii… And then at a beautiful lunch at a winery in Australia… We are learning to always be prepared!
More from this Episode
What do we do just for ourselves? What does “me time” look like after baby? Do I ever feel guilty for picking work over baby sometimes? How has baby changed my long term career goals? Drew and I answer all of these questions and more, all while enjoying a few adult beverages during Conley’s nap time. Press play above!