I just got done writing a letter to Coco. The day I found out I was pregnant, I started a document titled, “Letters to My Little Bean” and it’s now 34 pages single spaced and little letters to her as she grows. I got a little misty-eyed reading notes that I wrote when I was pregnant, when she was a newborn, even that first work trip I took without her… it’s all inside of the doc and I hope someday she treasures it. The letter I just wrote was one about how mama and dada just went on their first trip without her but why that’s an important piece of our puzzle — something I hope she learns to understand as she gets older!
This last month came and went in the blink of an eye and there are zero complaints. It held a lot of sand and sun and palm trees which is such a welcoming scene when home is Duluth, Minnesota. Our trip to Hawaii ended in such a relaxing way at our favorite oasis, The Andaz, and while our trip home wasn’t totally smooth (an extra night in a hotel and lots of delays at the airport!) it felt great to get home and sleep in our bed for a few nights before Drew and I left for another trip.
Masterminding in Puerto Rico (for the second time!)
This time we jetted off for business to Puerto Rico! You might remember a year ago when I went to Puerto Rico alone for a mastermind hosted by my bud Brendon Burchard and so when he sent us the dates for this years, we rearranged our Hawaii trip, came home a week early, and committed!
I usually do work trips alone, just because they can be totally boring and filled with (you guessed it) work, but since the mastermind started on Drew’s birthday and we hadn’t gotten away just us two since having Coco, I thought it would be the perfect getaway for us. Plus a work trip to a beach is a little more exciting than my normal biz trips!
My mom was thrilled at the idea of watching Conley for us for a few days and she even offered to stay at our house and watch the dogs, too! I was a tiny bit nervous about being gone for more than a quick trip but equally exhilarated at the notion of some one-on-one quality time with Drew, without having to worry about sleep schedules or snacks or packing a million things that a baby needs on a trip.
Some quick mastermind (and marriage) takeaways
The mastermind was incredible and beyond learning so much about business, I actually had a lot of time to reflect on our relationship and marriage in a different way. I smiled because when you go to a mastermind, the days are usually pretty busy. You sit around a table for 8, 9, even 10 hours a day nerding out over strategy and talking about business and marketing, so how the heck would Drew fit into this equation? That is not his idea of a good day.
I wish you could see our text thread because I would go to the mastermind and he spent his days at the gym, reading by the ocean, swimming in the pool. He was content as a cucumber and the thing I loved the most about this trip was that we both were living our best lives. Like we both had the BEST days ever and got to spend time doing what we love separately, and then meet back up to recap it all together at night.
The other thing that really stood out to me was just how incredible it is to watch someone flourish in a setting that isn’t their norm. Drew doesn’t really have an entrepreneurial bone or desire in his body, and most of the humans at the mastermind were utter and complete strangers to him. But then we would show up at group dinners together, and we’d quickly lose one another in conversations only to meet at the end of the night as we walked back to our hotel room after a few margaritas saying, “How was your night? Did you have fun?”
What a gift to be married to someone who you don’t have to worry about. I love that I never have to question if Drew is comfortable or if he’s having fun. He makes friends fast, can find commonalities to converse about with anyone, and he’s so easy going. On the last night of the mastermind, we all had a fancy dinner and then put on our swimsuits and jumped into the hot tub. All the guys ended up congregating on one side and the ladies went to the other side, and I look over and Drew’s just having the time of his life with some of my business mentors and friends who were merely strangers to him just days before. What a blessing.
What I loved most about this trip
Have you ever had an experience or gone on a trip or attended something and came home just raving and changed and you can’t talk fast enough and the listener just can’t possibly comprehend what you went through? I know I’m not alone in this, right?! Usually that’s the case when I come home from a mastermind or a big work trip, but having Drew be surrounded by people who think like me, who are wired like me, who are passionate in the way I am, helped open his eyes to how I feel about my work, how important it is to me, what lights me up, and it felt almost sacred to let him into that piece of my world. I loved sharing it with him.
Beyond the work side of the trip, we snuck in quality time together to enjoy just being us two. I mean, I don’t remember the last time we had such great pillow talk without falling asleep from exhaustion or the last time we took a shot of rum together to celebrate life, but those little memories that brought us back to being people and not just parents was so refreshing. It’s so needed to see your spouse as a whole and complete human outside of their parenting role, and so I’m so wildly grateful we had a chance to do just that.
“I know I’m being successful when…”
As the last exercise of the mastermind, we had to go around the table and share a tip for how we’re planning and approaching the next decade of our lives. We did short visualization exercises, heard how others plan their years out, and then it was my turn and here’s what I shared: Sit down with your spouse and ask them how they would finish this sentence, “I know I’m being successful when…”
I shared about how so many of us at the table are used to being in the driver’s seat, are the ones being supported by our spouses to achieve what’s on our hearts. Our partners have likely taken the backseat while we chase our dreams, and what if this next decade, it’s not only focused on our own success but on the success of the people we love the most?
When was the last time you asked your partner what their version of success is and how you can help support that? Because them being successful and fulfilled is a reflection on our work and ability to support their dreams, too.
Overall, I ended the getaway saying, “Dang, I needed that. I didn’t even know how much I needed it, but I did.” I needed that extra sleep, those adult conversations. I needed uninterrupted dinners without sticky baby hands and a few nights of staying up late to snuggle. I needed to hear my voice being used for something other than lullabies, and I definitely needed to be reminded of what it’s like to be with my husband and not just Coco’s daddy.