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You’re crushing it: checking boxes, hitting milestones, maybe even growing a team or scaling your business.
But if you’re being honest… you don’t really feel it. The joy you expected to come with all of this success? It’s nowhere to be found.
If that sounds familiar, then today’s episode is going to feel like a mirror… an empowering one. I’m sitting down with Dr. Judith Joseph, a Columbia-trained psychiatrist, NYU professor, researcher, and social media mental health advocate, and author of the groundbreaking new book High Functioning: Overcome Your Hidden Depression and Reclaim Your Joy.
Dr. Judith has worked with high performers from the boardroom to the operating room, and she’s here to unpack a surprisingly common experience: looking like you have it all together, while quietly running on empty.
She’s the one who coined the term high-functioning depression and even conducted the first EVER clinical study on it! If you’re building a business, leading a team, and trying to keep it all together while feeling a little “meh” on the inside, this episode is for you.
We’re diving into why your emotional flatness might be more than a passing mood, how to spot the signs of high-functioning depression in yourself or your peers, and most importantly, what to do about it.
The Silent Epidemic Among High-Achieving Women
Right off the bat, Dr. Judith broke down why hustle culture hits women especially hard. We’re handed this contradictory playbook: be kind, be a leader, be grateful, be happy, and when we fall short of these expectations, we internalize it as a personal failure.
Even though we might be achieving externally, we feel like we’re five steps behind.
She shared that women are statistically twice as likely to experience depression and anxiety as men, yet we’re less likely to get support. That gap in support, plus the pressure to keep up appearances, creates a silent epidemic for high-achieving women.
Burnout or Something Deeper?
We often mislabel our struggles. Dr. Judith explained the difference between burnout and high-functioning depression, and it’s eye-opening. Burnout tends to be situational: once you remove yourself from the work stress, you start to feel better.
But high-functioning depression lingers. It follows you outside the office. You might feel restless, unable to slow down, taking on too many projects, or numbing with busyness.
She emphasized how crucial it is to name what you’re feeling. When you can label the emotion correctly, you reduce anxiety. It helps you choose the right tools for healing instead of treating the wrong thing.
The Five Vs for Reclaiming Joy
Dr. Judith shared a powerful framework she developed called the Five Vs, designed to help you tap back into joy:
- Validation: Name your feelings and experiences accurately. This helps calm your nervous system and provides clarity.
- Venting: Express emotions through safe, reciprocal conversations or alternative outlets like journaling, art, or prayer. Venting without intention can actually make you feel worse, so choose your people and your moments wisely.
- Values: Reconnect with what gives your life meaning. Whether it’s time in nature, helping your community, or being present with loved ones, these values are where real joy lives—not in chasing external milestones.
- Vitals: Prioritize the basics like sleep, nutrition, movement, and your relationship with technology. Your emotional wellness is deeply tied to these daily habits.
- Vision: Celebrate your wins, no matter how small. Planning little joyful moments helps anchor you in the present and keeps you from being stuck in the past.
When Numbing Looks Like Achievement
One of the most profound parts of our conversation was talking about how high achievers often use work as a form of avoidance.
When we over-function, take on everyone else’s responsibilities, or find ourselves needing to always be “on,” we might actually be numbing ourselves from unprocessed emotions or past traumas.
It doesn’t always look like a breakdown. Sometimes, it looks like being the most productive person in the room. Dr. Judith said that the overachieving mask can hide deep struggles, and because workplaces and people benefit from that productivity, we rarely get called out on it.
The True Measure of Resilience
We also dug into what real resilience looks like… and it’s NOT about doing more or never resting. In fact, Dr. Judith says the most resilient people she’s met are calm, grounded, and at peace.
They know how to access joy and sit still with themselves, and they don’t live in overdrive. That kind of strength is powerful, and it’s often quiet.
If you’re nodding your head and realizing that the joy is missing, please know you are not alone.
You don’t have to burn it all down to find peace. You can begin to reclaim joy by noticing what pulls you away from it, validating your emotions, and making space for what matters!
Like Dr. Judith says: joy is not a luxury; it’s our birthright. You don’t need to earn it. It’s already in you, waiting to be accessed.
If you’re resonating with this, get her book High Functioning: Overcome Your Hidden Depression and Reclaim Your Joy. It’s a game-changing resource for high achieving women who want to choose JOY without quitting your ambition!
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