Goal Digger Episode 015: Things I am Afraid to Tell You with Jenna Kutcher

Jenna Kutcher 

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January 17, 2017



You know those things in your life that add unnecessary space? The things that make you feel like people might like the “you” that they think you are – but if they knew the truth, they might not feel the same way? Yeah. Those are the things that are shared on today’s episode, the ten things I am afraid to tell you, my audience. This is something I’ve never done before and sharing the things I’m terrified to say and I’ve never put out there online. But these things will fill in the gaps that come in between us and today I’m telling you the truth and things I believe, struggle with and obsess over that you will  never have heard if you’ve followed me online.


“I am a workaholic by choice, and sometimes I love it more than I love other things” (1:34)

“Mean comments really affect me or hurt me more than I would ever let on” (3:21)

“I don’t know if I can handle being let down again” (6:52)

“I think I became so much more aware and empathetic to different scenarios that could be going on in people lives behind Instagram” (7:38)

“Money has always had this place in my life of control”(11:18)

“Numbers are an addiction to me” (12:07)

“Numbers to me bring comfort” (13:28)

“I love to see the imperfections in other people as beauty, but I struggle to do that with myself” (15:31)

“I’m a business woman first and an artist second” (23:22)

“Being creative is actually something I have to work towards” (24:26)

“Creative to me means shutting the outside world off so I can let my thoughts rise up over everything else that I have been ingesting.=” (24:41)

“Saying ‘No’ doesn’t have to be a negative thing.” (27:59)

“My goal this year is to find my tribe and serve them well, day in and day out, but also to serve myself well” (35:43)


Present Over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living

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  1. Nicole Fogarty says:

    I love you and love your heart to be real & open about who you are! I could relate to many things you shared. Keep being you & shining your bright light for Christ!

  2. Hi Jenna,

    I’m Cassie, owner of Infinity Images Photography and I live in Cottage Grove. I am a follower of your work. Truly inspired by you. Listening to this specific podcast has been a bit of an eye opener for me. So many of these 10 things you fear, I can directly relate to and have made me realize I need to work on some of these things as well.

    I, too, am a numbers person, or so you’ve made me realize! Haha. I have a ridiculous amount of spreadsheets tracking everything! I look and use them daily. Maybe I need to take a step back and just let things be…maybe. 😉
    I have been fortunate enough to have never had a miscarriage. And I am truly sorry that you’ve experienced that. I am blessed with 4 beautiful, healthy children (3 girls & 1 boy). I love them with all my being, but sometimes they drive me nuts. And sometimes, I might not be the best mom. And sometimes, I’m not the best wife either. I, too, am impatient. I like to be in control, and when I’m not, it frustrates me. My goal this year is to really improve my level of patience to better my family.
    My littlest is only 7 months and over the past few months, I truly believe that I’ve begun to accept my image. I’ve never been super skinny, but always thought of myself as average. My last pregnancy was very difficult on me emotionally. In the process, I gained a few stretch marks and felt bigger than ever before. Even though it lead to many tears, I’ve finally accepted my imperfections. And better yet, my husband tells me how gorgeous I am everyday. Some women will never be blessed to have stretch marks from pregnancy; so it’s a great reminder of the beautiful children I’ve brought into this world.
    I know it’s not apples to apples, but I totally understand not reaching to make a salad instead of mac n cheese. Food is yummy. End of story. When curl up on the couch and turn on Netflix (currently watching Breaking Bad..so good!) after the kids go to bed, it’s with ice cream or popcorn, not a plate of carrots… besides, our puppy dogs (a chocolate lab and a husky) love popcorn, not veggies!

    So now that I feel I’ve written a novel about myself (rolling my eyes) I hope you’ve got a feeling like maybe you know a little bit about me; if you’ve read the whole novel! Ha!
    Maybe one day we’ll meet and just chat about life!

    Take care!


  3. Alex Lasota says:

    Girl I truly hope you do more podcasts like this not only for your audience but for yourself. I think listening to how we perceived ourselves during a certain time allows us to grow and realize where we were then, acknowledge it, and then realize how far we’ve come since then.

    As an entrepreneur, I feel you on time – while I’m still a singleton, I sometimes feel that I spend so much time and effort into my business that I am neglecting my family and friends, and possibly not putting myself out there to meet ‘the one guy,’ (my biggest fear is marrying the wrong person and figuring it out later, oh vey). I fear when I blog, or when I use social media – not to say to much to offend anyone who isn’t a Christ believer like myself. Yet, I think the older I get (heck yes, for being born in 1988 and slowly but surely gaining more wisdom with age), the more I realize that these perceptions and fears I have in regards to what people think of me are, to put it lightly, stupid. The people who love you, the people who are your true tribe are going to stick with you through thick and thin —and the rest? They weren’t even our tribes to begin with.

    Cheers to more self love, self respect, and self understanding in the year to come! <3

  4. Melaina says:

    Thank you for being honest with us! I especially loved and resonated with your final point about personal faith and biz.

  5. Kelsey says:

    I love that you shared all of this. I think it is becoming much more critical to be able to show our authentical selves, in life and in our work! And of course I stayed until the end, girl! You are amazing!

  6. Kathi says:

    Thank you for sharing. Feelings of fear and insecurity can frequently immobilize us. I feel that as you shared, you broke chains holding people in that struggle with being imperfect…the imperfect that is simply in the description of being human. Psalm 84:5-7 are my favorite verses. It starts “Blessed are those whose strength is in you; who have set their hearts on pilgrimage” As long as we set our imperfect selves in God’s direction ( which is an imperfect journey in itself) we are open to His grace and enabling power.. Its a never ending pilgrimage, but, with God, what a journey it is! May God continue His blessings over your journey!!

  7. Steph says:

    This was probably my most favorite podcast episode yet. THANK YOU for being real, from one number addicted girl to another, your truths brought peace into my day. We are all more alike than we like to let on sometimes. Thank you for being brave and sharing this.

  8. Sara Ibrahim says:

    I loved this episode Jenna!

  9. You basically podcasted every fear I have. Every. Single. One.

  10. Carrie Miles says:

    Hi Jenna!

    Just wanted to encourage you about your fear of being a mom. God is going to use whatever you are going through to draw you closer to Him, and to help others. Your willingness to talk about having a miscarriage is evidence of that already.

    I had a miscarriage 5 years ago and we adopted our son 3 years ago. Being a mom is the best thing ever. People said I would get sick of dirty diapers and sick of hearing “mom! ” so many times each day. They were wrong on both accounts 🙂 Life is different when you have a kiddo, but it is different for the better. The joy that comes with that little one in your life far outweighs anything you think you are going to miss. Being a parent stretches you and forces you to rely on the Lord which is a good thing! The Lord calls us to be comformable, not comfortable. I don’t think anyone is ever really ready to be a parent! God will equip you. You can’t understand what it is like until you are a parent just like you really can’t understand what marriage is like until you are married and living each day next to a person just as flawed as you are.

    You are an encouragement to many people. Thank you for being vulnerable and real. Philippians 4:13 !

  11. UtaC says:

    I really enjoyed your transparency in this episode and could relate to a few of those fears! 🙂 God bless your heart!

  12. Allison says:

    Jenna, this is AMAZING! I love that you shared the ten things that make you the most scared. Too often, I think we all try to be someone we aren’t in hopes we can come off as everything for the ones we want to impress. This is just the raw and realness that I needed to hear. Thanks for being so genuine!

  13. Jessica R. says:

    I am commenting on your podcast and I am only the 3rd confession in. You are a brave soul and your confessions are empowering. I loved photography at a young age, got married in 12′ at the age of 22, and let my confession of “Never thinking I am good enough” take over my passion and love for photography. My husband always thought I just wasn’t “in it” anymore and it was always because of that little monster in my closet telling me this everyday that I didn’t pursue my dreams. Fast forward 5 years, my husband & I have lost our family farm. That’s hard to admit out loud. We went from thinking we knew our permanent plan and this is what God wanted for us. We also had a child before this all happened. Through all of this we have entrusted to stop worrying and know God has a plan for us, nothing in life is guaranteed or permanent and if we aren’t on the right path God will change things up so that you are. I will tell you this Jenna it wasn’t until I had my son and went through this and initial mother hood – that I truly began to believe in myself. I had a bride continuously ask me to do her wedding this past October and I thought she was crazy, the thought there are a 100 photographers better than me. She believed in me more than I was willing to admit. It wasn’t until then I confessed this to My husband he then told me, “I never knew you thought this of yourself, you are a good photographer and you can do anything. I believe in you. Do what makes you happy.” My son is now 1 and this past year has been one full of tears, sorrow, up and downs, but most importantly revelation. My husband and I have learned so much and have been transitioned into a stronger couple because of this. Don’t let the fear of a child keep your from being a mom, I was scared of this myself seeing so many others out there “not have their $hit together.” But let’s be honest, does anyone ever really? If anything, the joy and love my son has brought to us has only instilled something more powerful inside of me than ever before. The power to believe in myself and knowing my own inner strength. And it has been the most rewarding experience. His smile and grace let’s me know that I won’t ever fail, and if I do it’s because there is a success right around the corner. You can have it all, it may not be picture perfect or that image you had in your head. I am now on the road to go full-time, while working full-time and being a mom and wife. I burn the midnight oil knowing that I may be tired but this is what truly makes me happy. I sat next to someone yesterday in fact and she was on the phone talking about self-revelation and doing what makes you happy in life.

  14. Katie says:

    I think that (at the time this podcast was uploaded) I am in the same general place spiritually as you are. I only ever felt “close” to God when I spent a week at church camp or there was a super emotional sermon, but that feeling always faded away due to trials or my own downfalls. It always bothered me because I thought I wasn’t a good enough Christian since all my elders were telling me I had to keep that feeling and be cheerful all the time.

    Thank kind of thinking is so, so wrong. It’s okay to not feel a fire every minute of every day. Going to a Christian college helped me realize that Christianity isn’t a feeling, but a lifestyle. It’s OKAY to not always feel a fire for God in your belly because that’s just an unreasonable expectation! We, as humans, will always fall short of God’s glory. We can’t expect to be perfect Christians. The people who say that are just harmful! I’ve learned that you don’t need a big, emotional sermon or breakdown in church to remain close to God. Humans sin, and just because we sometimes feel unworthy of God’s grace, doesn’t mean that we aren’t.

    I am so glad you boldly shared your struggles with your faith, because that shows you are truly living a life for God! Thank you thank you thank you. Jenna, you and this podcast are a blessing.

  15. Liza says:

    I have loved all your podcasts that I have listened to so far, but your Things You’re Afraid To Tell really resonated with me. A lot of the fears or thoughts that you have are ones that I have as well. I truly appreciate you putting those thoughts out there because I honestly think people, especially women have those thoughts as well, but we feel like it’s not okay to feel that way. So thank you for putting it out there!


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Before you get any further... Hi! I'm Jenna Kutcher!

A small town Minnesota photographer, podcaster, educator and puppy rescuer, my happiest days are spent behind my computer screen sharing my secrets with the world. I'm glad you're here.

I’m an expert at online marketing, a nerd when it comes to the numbers, and my obsession is teaching others how to make a living doing what they love (without it taking over their life). 

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