Wow, I don’t know why, but I’ve been waiting for this day for what feels like five years… (kidding, kind of.) I’m that girl at the gym who always has to end her reps in multiples of 5 and so this whole five year anniversary seemed like it should be a biggie for someone like me. It’s crazy to think that at the age of 23, I was a little blonde bride committing to spend forever with a handsome guy with a beauty mark. This year I’m going to tell him how I really feel about him in person and I’ll just leave you with a little insight into the last five years.
Five years. Two houses. Two rescue dogs. Eight foster puppies. One Corporate Job left. One Wine Selling gig gained. Five countries visited together. Too many bottles of wine. Zero times doors were slammed. One Miscarriage. A few pounds gained. A lot of growth. A couple lovers quarrels. Countless nights spent cuddling on the couch. Five years of growing up together.
It’s crazy how fast time flies. I feel like I’ll blink and be 80 and remembering these days, these (I think) are the good ‘ol days so many people refer to. These are the days where we make dinner together, we travel together, we still hit up the pub a time or two, and we genuinely miss each other when we are apart (which feels like it’s been a lot lately.)
One of the things I love most about our marriage is this: we have both grown into the people we are today but in that, we have grown together. When I look at myself back at 23, I wasn’t really sure what I wanted out of life. You married me when I was still a corporate girl who work up early and put on a uniform… now you come home and I am still in my office, empty coffee cups around me, yoga pants on (every single day) and life looks a little different than it did back then. I’ve changed, I’ve grown, I’ve pursued the things I love with reckless abandon, but I think the thing I’ve pursued the most over these years is your heart.
I still wake up and stare at you. I still will myself to memorize every mole, every wrinkle on your face. I still love when we hold hands in the car. I still love that we don’t bring our phones on dates and that we sneak beer into the drive in movie theatre. I still love that I secretly want your calendar cleared so that we can hang out every single day. I still love that we never, ever go to bed apart – even when you fall asleep in two minutes and I stay up reading for a good hour. I still love that you will always greet the dogs before you say “hi” to me. I still admire the fact that you’re neat freak tendencies run deep and most days you clean up after me without uttering a word.
This last year threw us for a loop when we lost the baby. It could have pulled us apart, I was scared it would… we were both processing so differently, experiencing hurt differently, but it didn’t pull us away. It brought us peace, a deeper faith, more clarity on what we want in life, and the push we might have needed to really pursue life with reckless abandon. We don’t follow the “norms,” we don’t want to and that’s why doing life with you truly is an adventure.
You reel me in when I dream wild, crazy dreams and I push you out of your comfort zone to try new things. Those vows we said five years ago? I truly believe we are living them every single day (even the days when I get mad and you and cuss.) We aren’t perfect, hell no, but we always hold each other up to the highest standard and to me, that’s love.
Drew, I love you. You really are my best friend. Everyday I want to wake up and live those vows with you. So babe, happy five years, we made it to a number that I love and it feels mighty fine to do this life with you. I still vow to love you without caution. I still vow to encourage you to chase your dreams, because through them your soul shines. I still promise to laugh with you, cry with you, grow old with you in mind and spirit, and always be open and honest with you. I will cherish you for a lifetime, for one lifetime will never be enough.