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Ever feel like your brain never gets a break, like you’re constantly juggling to-do lists, client needs, family demands, and still wondering what’s for dinner?
That invisible, never-ending checklist you’re carrying around? That’s the mental load, and it might be silently sabotaging your business, your relationships, and your sanity.
Today’s guest, Dr. Morgan Cutlip, is a psychologist, relationship expert, and author on a mission to help women feel whole, light, and deeply connected in all their relationships.
With a PhD in psychology and a knack for translating research into real-life solutions, she’s helped hundreds of thousands of people navigate the complexities of love, family, and partnership.
Her books Love Your Kids Without Losing Yourself and her upcoming title A Better Share tackle the emotional and mental responsibilities women disproportionately carry, especially when it comes to marriage, motherhood, and yes, running a business.
If you’ve ever wondered why you’re burnt out even when your partner or team is “helping,” or if you’ve struggled to balance being a boss and being present at home, this conversation is for you.
We’re diving into how the mental load affects your business, your boundaries, and your personal life, and what you can do to take some of that weight off. Let’s dive in!
What Is the Mental Load and Why Does It Matter?
Dr. Morgan defines the mental load as the running, invisible to-do list constantly spinning in your brain.
It’s not just a list of tasks—it’s a full-time cognitive job with three layers:
- Physical tasks: things you do like laundry, dishes, and scheduling appointments.
- Mental tasks: the running logistics of everything, like remembering school events or your business to-do list.
- Emotional labor: the constant calculations we make to ensure others have good experiences, like anticipating your kids’ meltdowns or planning family time that checks everyone’s boxes.
The kicker? Most of these tasks sit at the intersection of all three—what Morgan calls the triple threat—which is why even seemingly small things, like “what’s for dinner?” feel so heavy.
For women, especially entrepreneurs, this load affects more than just your home—it can sabotage your creativity, your joy, and your relationships if left unchecked.
Signs You’re Carrying Too Much (And What to Do About It)
When women don’t address their mental load, Morgan sees it show up in three key ways:
- Burnout: manifesting as anxiety, overwhelm, or lack of creativity.
- Physical symptoms: like autoimmune issues or chronic exhaustion.
- Resentment: especially in your closest relationships, even when people are trying to help.
Morgan suggests two key approaches to lighten the load:
1. Within Work: Start With You
This means checking in with yourself regularly, even if it’s a 30-second scan in the bathroom (yes, really!)
Ask yourself:
- How am I doing?
- What do I need right now?
- Can I name what’s bothering me?
This self-awareness helps you define your needs so you can express them clearly, before the burnout hits.
2. Between Work: Communication with Your Partner
Morgan shares that lasting change requires a shared language around the mental load. Instead of defaulting to blame or frustration, make space for a weekly check-in (she even gives an agenda in her book!)
Ask each other:
- What’s on your plate this week?
- Who’s taking full ownership of what?
- How can we support each other better?
Morgan reminds us that partial handoffs create more work. If your partner is cooking, let them pick the recipe, shop, and make it their own, without commentary or micromanagement. Ownership is key to mental freedom.
Five Ways Women Accidentally Hold on to the Mental Load
Even when we try to let go, we often sabotage ourselves with these common behaviors:
- Impatience: stepping in when things aren’t done “right away.”
- Micromanagement: “Wait, you cut the grapes how?”
- Keeping score: mentally tallying who does more.
- Criticism: giving feedback when silence might serve better.
- Personalizing: turning dirty socks on the floor into “he doesn’t respect me.”
Sound familiar? The solution isn’t to do it all, it’s to step back and let your partner show up fully, even if their method looks different from yours.
Redefining Balance (Spoiler: It’s Not Real)
If you’ve ever felt like you’re failing at “balance,” Morgan wants you to know: balance is a myth. Life is always shifting, and chasing perfect equilibrium is a recipe for guilt and shame.
Instead, she urges women to think in terms of balancing, with micro-adjustments based on your season. You can’t prioritize everything at once—so let go of the guilt when you choose to be present at work, at home, or with yourself.
The guilt? It’s another piece of the mental load, and it’s time to put it down.
Whether you’re running a business, a household, or both, Dr. Morgan Cutlip offers the language, tools, and compassion to help you name your mental load, share the weight, and start healing the resentment that comes with invisible work.
You don’t have to carry it all to be a good partner, parent, or leader. You just have to be willing to check in with yourself, communicate with clarity, and prioritize your peace, because when you do, everyone benefits.
Get your copy of A Better Share here, and follow Dr. Morgan Cutlip on Instagram for more tips on how to handle the mental load!
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