How to Gain Big Influence in 5 Easy Steps

Jenna Kutcher 

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July 9, 2018


Goal Diggers, I am legitimately GIDDY to share this episode with you. Today, i am introducing you to one of the most magnetic women I know. Emily Sexton is a force to be reckoned with and I’ve been able to experience her magic first-hand in my mastermind group this year.

With a past career on Wall Street as a Vice President of Communications and Change Management, Emily brings her ‘win them over’ know-how, delightful enthusiasm and every day wit to encourage American consumers to use their purchasing power for good. From Wall Street to the streets with no name, you can now find Emily traveling in developing nations to find gorgeous new goods for her Downtown Raleigh Boutique + online shop, The Flourish Market.  She is an overly obsessed dog mom, an unlikely Crossfitter, a contributor to The Huffington Post, and an avid believer that every woman is worthy of influence.

Today, Emily is going to teach us her signature topic: How to Influence Others. Goal Diggers, I cannot emphasize how important this episode is. Whether you are an entrepreneur, college student, or single mom, there is value in knowing how to communicate well, own your story, and connect with others in a powerful way. Goal diggers, I CANNOT wait for you to harness your inner voice and learn from this one in a million woman. Ya ready?!

Emily’s Story:

This woman’s story- WOW. From dancer (yes, really) to influencing expert in corporate, to fashion truck entrepreneur allll the way to where she is today… it’s safe to say Emily is a jack of all trades.

To put it briefly (seriously, you have to tune in for this whole story!) all of her eggs were in dancing until a career-ending injury happened. Unsure of what to do next, she got a major in business concentrated in marketing and sales which ultimately led to a job in corporate America.

With time, her job was focused in “winning others over” and influencing others. A definite “niche” in the corporate world that Emily saw an opportunity to bring to other countries for good. Outside of her work, Emily volunteered in the developing world and saw the value of how a dignified job and mindful purchases could transform someone’s life. She started an ethical fashion blog as an outlet to “create sustainable and positive change”

Enter her fashion TRUCK, which Emily fondly referred to as “a mini boutique on wheels”. (I’m telling ya- you have to listen to this episode!) which eventually turned into her brick and mortar shop in downtown Raleigh. In just a few years, she has placed over 750,000 orders with artisan partners and her mission of “Let’s spread dignity across the globe” is flourishing by the moment.


One thing I loved that Emily touched on was how she started this shop to bring dignity to women around the world, but quickly realized that the women in her own backyard, in downtown Raliegh, “women in my community, here in the first world, need someone to intercede and remind them of THEIR worth”

What a message! And with this realization, Emily was able to put her gift of connection and influence into full use… and today she is going to teach you how she wins others over and creates influence for GOOD.

First of all, let’s cover the basics: influence is a skill not many of us have. Emily described this, “Influencing others is not necessarily overlooked- but often suppressed- and that’s because I think we mistake “influence” with “manipulation”. Emily says the biggest part of the connection is humanizing both parties: herself and the people around her. She said it is being open, vulnerable, “where you feel like you might be oversharing, but really I just authentically shared myself and invited them to do the same”

Such a beautiful message… but it doesn’t stop there! Emily shared tangible tips to ensure that you are connecting to those around you and making sure your message is heard!


  1. Listen: “if you do this, you will win at life”
  2. Ask clarifying, open-ended questions (they can expand on what they’re thinking- it allows them to feel heard)
  3. Find common ground. After listening, ask yourself “is there anything that connects the two of you?”(Usually, it has nothing to do with the topic at hand)
  4. Cast a vision and tap into a high moral value that’s hard to disagree with. Example: if debating gun control, “I think we both agree that we want our kids to feel safe at school”
  5. Walk the talk. Live the life you talk about… People can smell authenticity a mile away.
  6. You won’t win everyone over – don’t die trying.

How To Win Others Over (in business!):

  1. Listen. Listen to your IDEAL client and people you want to work with.
  2. Ask clarifying questions: SURVEY your clients. (Listen in to the episode to hear the 2 burning questions she asks her clientele to ensure they feel seen & known!)
  3. Find common ground: Look at their surveys, feedback, etc. and ask yourself “where do I have the knowledge & influence to best serve them?”
  4. Cast vision and align with a higher value: “What is that bigger vision you want your clients to feel”?
  5. Live your life as an example. “I don’t want women to think they have to be perfect to make an impact”

THIS. EPISODE. I just teared up re-listening to it to write these show notes, and you’ll just have to tune in to fully experience Emily’s magic… But I’ll leave you with this quote: “When we think of influence, think about the legacy you want to leave in this world… Don’t play small. use your impact for good.”


Interested in Today’s sponsor, Slack?

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  1. DearMishuDad says:

    Great podcast, Emily is so genius, so transparent, cheerful and dynamic!!

  2. I could not figure out how to leave a comment on itunes so I have to leave it here!

    I have been on such a transformational journey these past two weeks. I have been deeply encouraged by a the theme of mess becoming our message. I am doing a love note project for the kids that were separated from their parents at the border right now. I drew illustrated cards, had 1700 copies made, and have recruited everyone from all my social circles to write love notes on the back. I thought this was the most amazing thing I have ever done. Then I set up a phone call with an activist who was gathering a group of mothers to go down to the detention center. I was really excited but the call ended up leaving me nauseous. I was told that my project was normalizing the oppression of children and that, if I am an artist, I need to use my art to wake up the consciousness of Americans. At first, I wanted to cry and be angry with her. But after processing, I allowed this to be a point of learning for myself. I have not wanted to accept that I am an artist for a whole host of reasons, but they all lead back to fear. And after this phone call, I was challenged to either accept that calling and rise up as an artist and do more with my “cute” art, or quit because someone said it wasn’t good or right. I took her words as wisdom from an elder. She is a woman of color with an ancestry of slavery. She doesn’t have the time for nice/cute art. She needs something to create change. She may not be my ideal client, but she did present me with a challenge to accept myself and rise up. Now, because of a moment that made me feel sick to my stomach, I am inspired and dreaming bigger than before! I am getting ready to launch my own art website which will sell custom-made watercolor art to provide memorable gifts so busy, driven women can give back and easily engage reconciliation in their world. Thank you for doing what you were created to do so I can do what I am. It’s a glorious cycle when we don’t let fear lead us! Thank you thank you thank you!

  3. From the Front Porch – The Crowned Goat says:

    […] sent this podcast episode to all of my friends, it was that fantastic. While it might be geared toward business ladies I […]

  4. Chanel Zhang says:

    Hi Jenna.
    I believe everything happens for a reason. I’m trying to remember how did you ‘walk’ into my life.😁
    I love listening your podcast. Not only bacause it is empowering, motivates me in the morning while I commute, also it is very REAL.. Keep it up🙌👍👍


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Before you get any further... Hi! I'm Jenna Kutcher!

A small town Minnesota photographer, podcaster, educator and puppy rescuer, my happiest days are spent behind my computer screen sharing my secrets with the world. I'm glad you're here.

I’m an expert at online marketing, a nerd when it comes to the numbers, and my obsession is teaching others how to make a living doing what they love (without it taking over their life). 

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