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The Four Letter Word You Need to Ditch Right Now

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What’s really holding you back from scaling your business? Do you ever feel like you’ve got the systems, your client base is there, you’re ready to invest your time but then… A mental roadblock pops up. Your self-limiting beliefs creep in and you’re stalled before you even start.

When fear and self-doubt threatens your dreams, you not only feel it, but other people can sense it. Showing up confidently is the key to communicating your message and getting others to share in it… But that’s easier in concept than execution. I called in the leader of Business Boutique and Ramsey Personality Christy Wright for this episode because she has a gift for helping women change their mindset in their businesses to allow for growth. Or heck, even just giving yourself permission to start.

This is a conversation for anyone wanting to retool their mindset, show up confidently, and tell fear to take a hike so you can start right now.

Understanding Fear

Christy is masterful at breaking down mental barriers and mindset blocks that hold women back. So I asked her, why are we holding ourselves back? What’s the trend here?

“We need inspiration… We need people to speak into our lives,” Christy started, “But we also need more information. It’s not just getting ourselves fired up, you need more information that gives you that confidence like, I didn’t know how to do this, and now I do.”

Fear might be what’s holding you back, but Christy says it’s not about overcoming fear. It’s about understanding fear. Christy used to think fear was a bad sign. Like if you’re feeling fear, it means you shouldn’t do whatever it is that’s causing you fear.

But Christy learned something about fear when she jumped into a speaking career without any prior experience (press play to hear the full story — it’s wild!) “Fear is a normal part of the journey. Fear is simply because you’ve never done it before,” she said.

Christy shared research that shows little girls are more risk-averse. We hit the brakes sooner on our bikes when we’re learning to ride. We never want to make the same mistake twice. Boys, on the other hand, are less likely to learn from calamity and believe any issues or problems are caused by an external factor.

We carry these traits into adulthood, but if we learn to understand fear instead of just trying to overcome it, we will expand our lives. She said this about fear, “It’s not a sign you’re doing something bad, it’s a sign you’re doing something bold and that is a good thing.”

Is it a business or a hobby?

Another one of Christy’s (many) gifts is helping women get started in their businesses. There’s something common amongst many beginners that she called out immediately — people aren’t treating their businesses like an actual business.

If it costs you money, it’s a hobby. If it’s a business, you’re focused on getting revenues up, expenses down, and building something that makes money. If you’re just starting a business and try to justify buying a brand new laptop to make it happen, you’re not thinking like a business owner. Instead of being resourceful and getting by with the perfectly fine laptop you’ve got, you’re depleting your resources and trying to justify the spend.

“To show that we’re doing it, we go out to get our succulent and our coffee mug, but that doesn’t make a business. Money does,” she laughed. Who here feels called out? I do! Why do we think some new desk decorations from Target proves to the world that we’ve started a business?

In most cases, Christy sees that women aren’t charging enough for whatever they’re selling. And that we need to be better at getting expenses down and being smart about both the money and time you’re spending in the business so you can actually make a profit. It’s about “taking the emotions out of it and treating it like a business, so you can actually stay in business,” Christy explained.

Press play to hear Christy’s insight on pricing and valuing your time as a business owner, and why “faking it until you feel it,” can keep you from talking yourself out of sales.

The Word “Just”

Think about the last time someone asked you, “What do you do?” Did your answer include the word “just”? I’m just a stay at home mom. I just have a little side hustle. I’m just…

Christy and I bonded over our mutual hatred for the word JUST. She put into words exactly how I feel about it saying, “Women really believe that they are using these words in a posture of humility, but this is not accurate. This is a posture of insecurity.”

When you downplay your business, your dreams, your business, and your dreams, you’re not just downplaying it, “You’re lying,” Christy said, point blank.

And we’re not just doing it to ourselves. We’re doing it to each other. Using words like just and little are minimizing our own and each other’s endeavors. It’s crushing us.

“The words that we speak about ourselves and about our business become self-fulfilling prophecies. It speaks into the world and then we behave in accordance with what we have said and what we believe.”

More from this Episode

What is Christy’s one-liner on confidence? How does repetition play into building confidence? And if you’re afraid of success, you have to hear Christy’s perspective on understanding and controlling that fear. Christy and I cover all the topics from priorities to defining success to pricing strategies. Press play to hear the full conversation.

 


 

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