We’ve all seen Mean Girls, right? (I mean, if you haven’t, please “x” out of this window and go Netflix binge fast, you have to see the last of Lindsay Lohan in her prime!) There’s the line where the snobby girls say, “You can’t sit with us,” at the lunch table. I feel like life is one big lunch room and a lot of times we feel like the ones wandering around with our tray of peas and meatloaf wondering where the heck we can survive – let alone, fit in.

There are so many times in my life where my hands get clammy, I wonder if I put on deodorant, and I question if I’m really cut out for the whole “being social” thing. Speaking of social, I truly think that social media only heightens the fear of fitting it – wondering where in the world our square images land us. So what do we do? (And no, the answer isn’t flea to the bathroom and eat lunch in the locked stall.)

First: We have to first put ourselves out there:

And not just the “us” that people expect but who we truly are at the core of our beings. The more we open up, the more we allow for people to know us, connect with us in a meaningful way (because ain’t nobody got time for that surface-level stuff anymore!) It’s better to be accepted for who you really are than to be loved for who you are not.

Second: We have to attract the right people into our lives.

The ones who take us just as we are, the ones who always will say “You can totally sit with us!” and mean it. Your vibe, well, it attracts your tribe. What are you putting out into the world? How are you inspiring/encouraging/being kind to others? The truth is, no one has this all figured out – seriously, no one, not even Beyonce. Make sure you’re letting YOU shine so that people can see that light (and it gives them permission to sign right next to you!)

Lastly: you have to truly believe in community, not competition.

It isn’t just a #hashtag, it’s an action. How are you supporting a community, how are you growing one in a meaningful way? How can you be that person that includes someone else? How can you lift someone else up today? Friends, you are all invited, you can always sit with me – wherever you are, come as you are, yoga pants, top knots, morning breath are all welcome. I want you, the whole you and I won’t take anything less.

How can you genuinely foster a community in your life? What can you do today to reach out to say, “Hey, I see you, I notice you, I am thankful for you.” Whether it’s a text, an email, a prayer, or a coffee date – take some time out of your day to tell someone you love, “Yes, you can always sit with me, come as you are.“