It’s wild to be entering a new year, isn’t it? I love the feelings of new beginnings, a clean slate, that fresh start… but this year? It feels different. Not in the “this will be my best year yet” sort of way, but more like “I wonder what this year will hold for me.”
I haven’t been shy in sharing that I’m in this season where I don’t exactly know what’s next and so my approach for this coming year is mirroring that feeling and I’m doing things a bit differently. Am I nervous? A little. Am I scared? Not really. Do I feel unsettled? Yes. So here’s what I’m hoping for in the new year (and it just might surprise you!)
What I Got Wrong
Not anticipating how different having two kids vs. one would be! While I’d definitely argue that going from 0-1 kid is a bigger transition, the whole going from 1-2 was busier than I even expected. When Coco dropped her afternoon nap that had been such a saving grace for me to get work done, I suddenly had a life where there was always a kid awake and usually someone who needed me. I went from working mainly during nap times to really trying to figure out when and how to get work done. Work came second a lot and I felt behind a lot.
Throwing off our typical rhythm to support the book launch! This was both a win and a massive challenge. When you write a book, you want to get it out into the world which means you’ll pause everything else to do that. This year our rhythm was really different and I felt like we were playing catch up in the second half of the year because the first 6+ months were really focused on all things book – which was a massive success, so it paid off, but it also presented some interesting challenges.
Working out… While my health journey has been exceptional and I feel better than I have in forever, I really struggled to work out this year. I don’t know if it’s that I’m still nursing Quinn or what but energetically working out just didn’t really sound appealing and I didn’t make great efforts to focus on it. I feel like my Peloton was laughing at me and the few times I made it in for hot yoga felt more like fever dreams than reality. Most of my daily movement comes from walking or dancing in the house with the kids and while I am in the best shape I’ve been in in a long time, I really want to focus on moving my body and getting STRONGER in this new year. They say abs are made in the kitchen and I concur, but now I’m ready to start working out again and feeling STRONG.
Honoring my ADHD: This year led to a big diagnosis which was learning I have ADHD and there’s still so much I want to learn about this but I can without a doubt say that I struggled in learning how to support my brain in ways that would help me to focus. Part of this was just our set up, the home we just sold didn’t have a designated office area and so a lot of times I’d be working around the house in the thick of the chaos and I really struggled to focus. This year I want to create different work routines that help honor my brain and how it’s wired so that I can do more focused work.
Carving out solo time: Even writing this feels selfish – whyyyy? I feel like one of my greatest challenges this year was just finding time to recharge. I am super introverted in that I recharge best while I’m alone and you can imagine living and working from home and having everyone together all the time is AMAZING but I found myself craving these little pockets of time where someone didn’t need me and I wasn’t being productive. With so many things happening this year between the book and the home build, I feel like my achiever tendencies make me want to be productive ALL of the time and I really didn’t do a great job getting solo time and also giving it to Drew. One big goal of mine this year is to do a little solo wellness retreat and take some time for myself to dream and write and be and rest.
Exploring hobbies: What’s a hobby, right? There were things I wanted to do this year or to try or to set aside time for and that definitely didn’t happen. While I’m not going to be dramatic and say we were in survival mode because we weren’t, I feel like the bandwidth between parenting and work stretched me so thin that there wasn’t much energy or time for anything else. If a hobby includes watching 5 minutes of Real Housewives during my lunch break each day, then I nailed it, but I definitely want to make more time for trying new things and doing things just for fun!
Fostering more friendship: It’s absolutely wild to me that we’ve lived back at home for almost 5 years now. While we’ve been through a LOT in those five years with two pregnancies, a pandemic, a book, etc. One thing I’m craving is just more connection and making time for that. I’m proud of myself for coordinating playdates with some of Coco’s friends from school and getting to know other moms but I feel like where we are right now, I don’t have a core friend group where we live. Most of my friends live far away, the friends I talk to daily don’t live relatively close, and while I absolutely have DEEP friendships, I also want local friendships and I want to work on fostering that this year.
Hopes for 2023
I hope I lean into this desire to pull back, keep my foot on the brake a bit and just have the flexibility to be the kind of mom I want to be without feeling apologetic or like I’m being left behind. I hope that I can unlock the sort of freedom I’ve been able to experience as an entrepreneur for my team members as well, so that they can have the same semblance of balance and work not from a place of urgency.
I hope that I can let go of the things that are no longer aligned or working for me without feeling guilty for changing my identity again or starting fresh.
I hope that I can speak on a few more stages! After years of saying no to just about every invite, I have loved stepping onto stages a bit more this year! One thing I did this year when I traveled alone – like the 2 times I did – is that I booked one extra day to just relax and be alone and for the rest, the whole fam came with!
I hope that we can keep asking for help and accepting it when we need it whether it’s hiring a contractor in the business or getting help with the kids or whatever that looks like. I think a lot of times I approach things from an “I can do that myself” space but I want to keep reaching out more.
I hope that I feel creative and experimental and open to trying new things, new ways, new messages and that I can lean back into the more soul-driven side of things, claiming back that inner artist that started all of this.
Goal Diggers, thank you for another incredible year and for joining me on this journey into a new one. I hope this podcast has served you well and I look forward to continuing that for you as the clock strikes midnight and ushers in a new year.