I still remember when we got married, people would tell us all of the time that the honeymoon phase would be over soon and life would settle in. It was depressing, I wanted married life to feel so different, I didn’t want the monotony to take over, I really didn’t. I also remember celebrating every little milestone, every moment together, every anniversary and vowing to myself that I would never stop all of that… let’s just say that I settled some where in the middle of it all, determined to keep things fun and fresh and destined to keep dating my husband. The pursuit shouldn’t end at the altar, in fact, pursuing one another every day is something we should all aim to do as spouses. Here’s the thing, married life does sink it. Life gets busy, work takes over, responsibilities like dogs keep you from staying out too late or getting away for the weekend. It happens, it really does. But you know what else can happen? Weekly date nights, weekends without cell phones, and last minute getaways… but only if you let them.
Now, before you tell me, “wait until you have kids,” let me tell you this: we are choosing right now to wait to start our family, we get that our lives will look different with children, trust me, we get it, and that is part of the reason why we are waiting. To me, dating my husband is so important, like top of the list priority. How easy is it to fall into the habit of watching tv on the couch every night during dinner, staying in the office (ahem, or bed) when they walk through the door, staring at Instagram when you are laying in bed next to one another… those are all traps we fall into but we are trying to break the cycle. It’s funny how much we can truly connect when we really put one another first. One of our favorite date night rules is this: phones stay in the glovebox, no one is more important than the other person for a few hours. You’d be surprised at the conversations you can have, you will be in shock as you look around at everyone else on their cell phones, and you would be in awe of how much better your food tastes when you don’t have to take an Instagram photo of it as it gets cold.
Last weekend Drew thought we were staying at home and landscaping. In a last ditch attempt to get away I lined up the doggie hotel, booked a nights stay in the Wisconsin Dells, coordinated with his friends, and made him pack his bag and hop in the car. He didn’t know where we were going until we arrived and that night over steak and lobster, I looked into the eyes of the dude I love and felt so grateful to be right there, right then. We need that time away from the norm, we need to pull ourselves from our work, we need to have an excuse to sit hand in hand poolside, and we need a reminder that we aren’t old and married, yet. I don’t want to fall into the trap, I don’t want to settle for complacency, I want to keep things fun, I want to try new things, I want to adventure together, I never want him to feel like I am done pursuing him (and his handsomeness.) How special it is to feel desired by the one who promised to spend forever with you, am I right?
If you are getting married, I want to tell you this: marriage is as easy as you make it. What sort of spouse do you want to be? Are you making one another better or are you tearing each other down? Remember those vows that you said on your wedding day and live up to them as best as you can (thank god, I didn’t vow to always fold the laundry on our wedding day!) At the end of every night, Drew and I say three things we are thankful for, we usually top one another’s list (YAY!) but when is the last time you told your husband how special they are, when is the last time you built them up, sent them a text just because, bought them a present for fun? In a life and a world that constantly tells us we aren’t enough, I want to make sure the one I married always feels like he’s measured up, that he’s exceeded what I could hope for. If you don’t remember the last time you went on a date with your loved one, I double dare you to plan a little something, surprise them, lay out some cute clothes, and get out. Put your phone away, make some memories for yourself, have a margarita or two, and just enjoy one another’s presence like the good old days (oh, and make out, too!) Life is short, spend those nights out with the one you love the most. Just please, please never stop dating your husband.