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What if the very thing you’ve been avoiding—slowing down—was actually the key to creating the life and business you’ve been working so hard for?

We live in a world where rest has been branded as lazy. Where women, especially ambitious women and entrepreneurs, are expected to do it all: run the business, raise the kids, support the family, maintain friendships, and keep it all looking effortless. 

But beneath the surface? So many of us are exhausted, overwhelmed, and quietly wondering if we’ll ever feel “enough.”

Nicola Jane Hobbs is here to challenge that narrative. Nicola is a chartered psychologist with a master’s degree in sport and exercise psychology, and she’s spent more than a decade supporting women’s health and wellbeing through yoga, meditation, and therapeutic practice. 

She’s also the founder of The Relaxed Woman, a movement and community dedicated to helping women recover from stress and burnout.

In this episode, Nicola and I are unpacking why rest feels so hard for women, why female entrepreneurs in particular struggle to switch off, and the practical rituals and strategies we can use to finally make peace with rest. 

If you’ve ever felt guilty for slowing down, or if burnout has been lurking in the background of your business journey, this episode is for you.

Redefining What It Means to Be “Relaxed”

The phrase “relaxed woman” can feel contradictory. It might even sound like it implies a lack of ambition or a loss of drive. But Nicola offers a powerful reframe: a relaxed woman isn’t giving up, she’s letting go. 

Letting go of guilt, perfectionism, and the belief that her worth is tied to her productivity.

The origin of the word relax actually means “to set free,” and that’s exactly what this work is about. 

Being a relaxed woman is about untangling our sense of self from how much we produce and instead, learning to rest without guilt or anxiety.

Shifting the Question That Drives You

One of Nicola’s most transformative mindset shifts is this:

Instead of asking, “Have I worked hard enough to deserve rest?” ask, “Have I rested enough to do my best work?”

This seemingly simple reframe flipped something major in my own life, and it’s backed by science. When we operate in a constant state of fight-or-flight, we lose access to the higher brain regions that support creativity, empathy, and long-term vision. 

Rest isn’t a reward. It’s a requirement for meaningful, impactful work.

Why Slowing Down Feels Scary (Especially for Entrepreneurs)

Let’s be honest. Many of us fear that if we take our foot off the gas, everything will fall apart. That we’ll miss our big break, fall behind, or lose momentum. 

As entrepreneurs, where our income is often tied directly to our effort, that fear can feel even more intense.

Nicola encourages us to experiment gently. That might mean only answering emails a few times a week, building in more margin throughout your day, or simply noticing the thoughts that spike your stress (like “I don’t have enough time”) and meeting them with compassion.

This isn’t about going from 100 to zero. It’s about learning to coast without panic and proving to yourself that the world won’t collapse if you slow down.

Rest as a State of Being (Not Just a Break)

Rest doesn’t always look like lying on the couch in silence. For many women, especially those who are neurodivergent or have experienced trauma, stillness can be uncomfortable. That’s why Nicola recommends redefining rest as a way of being rather than a specific activity.

Rest might be picking raspberries, gardening with your kids, or baking with no goal in mind. The key? The intention behind it. Rest is intentionally unproductive. It’s time spent without striving, proving, or performing.

And here’s a game-changing insight: sometimes the entry point to rest is active, but with the purpose of regulating your nervous system, not producing a result.

Your Rest Is a Responsibility

If you’ve ever thought, “Good for her, but I can’t rest,” this one’s for you. Nicola shares that if you have the privilege of rest, it’s your responsibility to model it. 

When we reply to emails at midnight, skip meals, and power through exhaustion, we normalize that behavior for other women.

But when we rest, when we ask for help, when we set boundaries around our energy and time, we subtly and powerfully shift the culture. One relaxed woman at a time.

Boundaries and Rest Go Hand-in-Hand

Rest doesn’t happen without boundaries. Nicola explains how boundaries become the “container” that allows rest to exist. 

And boundaries don’t always look like a bold “no.” Sometimes they look like carving out a 10-minute pause between calls, honoring your lunch break, or deciding not to fill every moment of your child’s nap with a task.

It takes courage to live differently. To do less when the world tells you to do more. But the ripple effect of rest, on your family, your clients, your work, your health, is massive.

Final Thoughts: From Hustle to Healing

Being a relaxed woman doesn’t mean giving up your goals. It means redefining success through a lens of sustainability, values, and trust.

It means modeling a new way of living, not just for yourself, but for your kids, your community, and the next generation of women.

If you’ve ever felt like you “can’t rest,” this episode is your permission slip and your starting point. Your rest matters. You matter.

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