There’s nothing like a good, long, kitchen chat with a good friend, is there? The tea is hot, the shoes are off, the hair is messy, and the phones are in the other room. The most perfectly necessary friendship chat. Picture this setting as I pulled up a cozy seat at Katrina Scott’s table for her podcast, Live Beautifully, and I gotta say, we truly did live a beautiful moment together in that conversation! So much so that I asked her if I could bring this episode of hers over here for YOU. She said yes and here we are!
Before I press play on this episode she’s shared with me, I want to make sure you link arms with Katrina and her podcast – it’s one of those soul-nourishing shows you’re going to be so excited to listen to every week that it pops up into the timeline of your favorite podcast app! Go on and search it up, give it a follow, and have kitchen time with Katrina every single week!
Now, grab your tea and pull up a seat with us as we talk about journeying through life’s biggest, often harrowing transitions, from motherhood, to entrepreneurship, to authorship, to watching all of those collide into an entirely new kind of life worth living.
Our stories matter
Katrina and I first connected three and a half years ago when I was induced with Coco, and it’s crazy to think of where our lives are now, but also how much a difference is made when you know someone else’s story. Connecting with Katrina over our shared experiences with pregnancy and motherhood and success felt like permission to live my own life and know that I’m not alone, and also served as a great reminder that our stories matter.
My mom always tells me, “you don’t recognize the ripple effect of your work.” If we’re fortunate enough, we get to get the waves of it. Someone will tell us that it matters, which isn’t why we do it in the first place, but so often we forget that the ripple effect is literally generational. When we share our stories we’re influencing the fact that another generation likely can exist because people see our stories and are inspired by them. As a podcaster herself, Katrina knows exactly where I’m coming from. She tells me, “My mom and I didn’t know that we had miscarriages in our family, my mom did not experience miscarriages. Until I shared my story, and then more women from my own family shared that had never shared before. Isn’t that crazy? And so yes, your stories matter.”
Embracing the evolution of our identities
Katrina knows that I never intended to write a book, so during our conversation she asked me, “What turned? What made you actually say, ‘I’m gonna change my mind’? Because we’re we’re allowed to change your minds. And I’ve been changing my mind a lot, especially becoming a mom. I’m like, oh yeah, what I was prioritizing before, my mind is completely different now.” Like Katrina, motherhood was also a major shift for me and got me to start looking at my time in a different way. I always said I would never write a book because I was like, why in God’s name would you spend like two years of your life working on this project? You really don’t make a lot of money. However, when I took all the money off the table I really felt called to, and once I really committed to it, it was one of the most worthy endeavors I’ve ever done. Now looking back, I can’t imagine passing on such a life-changing opportunity because I was holding onto some pre-conceived idea of who I am and what I’m capable of.
One of the things that I think I’ve embraced with age and wisdom, and especially becoming a mom, is embracing the evolution of our identities. I think a lot of times we get so pigeonholed in a title or what we’re known for, and for so long too, that we don’t realize just how much those limiting beliefs are holding us back from discovering ourselves. Katrina brings up the value of sitting back and asking ourselves, “why am I doing this?” and really getting clear on why this matters to you before sharing it with the outside world. “We do get in our own heads too, as soon as we do share what we want to do, a lot of times that voice, even from someone that you really care about of like, ‘oh, I didn’t picture you doing that,’ is like, is everyone gonna think that? But most of the time it’s their own limiting beliefs.”
Someone else’s directions to life might not lead you to where you wanna go, so then the question becomes: how do we get quiet enough with ourselves to hear what our own truth is and start moving forward in the way that only we can? There isn’t a five-step process to happiness, so how are you going to get to a place where like success doesn’t just look good, but it feels good? Where you can stop faking that you’re enjoying your life?
Redefining success in our own terms
At some point we got onto the topic of entrepreneurship and hustle. Katrina told me, “I love your approach to being an entrepreneur because it’s more about freedom, and it’s not about success or any of those other things.” When I think about it, I am an entrepreneur because I define success in a very different way. There are lifestyle entrepreneurs and then there are the accolade, success-based entrepreneurs, and I am without a doubt a lifestyle entrepreneur. I want to earn enough to live the type of life that I want to live and I don’t need more than that. And when I realized that, it took the pressure off of trying to one-upping myself each year.
Hustle is required at times, but it shouldn’t become your go-to speed. There are seasons where you can hustle, but it shouldn’t become the autopilot. For me in this season, success is putting my kids to bed, being there in the morning or anytime they want to take a walk in the middle of the day, and saying yes. It’s these really random things, like Saturday morning pancakes, that I can point to and say, this is success. You’re not going to read about those in an entrepreneur magazine, but that to me is what matters. And my hope is that all women can start redefining success in their own terms without having to explain it to anyone, and can learn to relish in living it and letting that be enough.
Are you living beautifully?
As we reached the end of our chat, Katrina asked me if I was living beautifully and what that meant for me. I told her living beautifully to me means living this enriched life. And when I say enriched, I mean rich with the right things, like so rich that you taste it, you feel it, you are awake to the life you’re living. I feel like so many times people look back at their lives and say, “I wish I would’ve been, I wish I would’ve been.” Or they look at a picture of themselves five years ago and tell themselves, “If only that girl would’ve known how great she is and what she’s capable of, she would’ve done so many things.”
It’s funny because we are not awake to the lives that are happening, it’s like we’re waiting and we’re waiting and we’re waiting. And so living beautifully means having these fat minutes where we are just so present and alive and vibrant and we’re awake to what’s happening in front of us.
More from Katrina Scott
Can I just say that this is one of those conversations that feels like it ends too soon!? That’s the bittersweet beauty of a great conversation that deserves a chapter 2, 3, and more. I hope you enjoyed this glorious detour on over to Katrina’s podcast, Live Beautifully, and that you feel empowered to do exactly that this week. I’m grateful that I could share this episode with you and maybe even introduce you to a new friend, Katrina! Listen and subscribe to Live Beautifully with Katrina Scott wherever you get your podcasts. You can also visit her website and learn how to build a beautiful website of your own at livebeautifully.com/tonic.