You know you married a good man when you have never slept in separate beds because of a fight, only because he let you take in another foster dog who needs cuddles. How lucky am I to be married to man who insists on vacuuming and cooking and cleaning the toilets? How fortunate am I to be able to do life next to someone who is my best friend? It’s crazy, really, that we’ve been married for almost 1,500 days, even crazier that we still feel like we are in the honeymoon phase, and even craziest that our lives look nothing like we thought they would when we said “I do” four years ago. The longer I am in the marriage industry, the longer I respect what marriage is, looks like, and can be. I used to write a novel to Drew on this blog every anniversary but this year I want to look him in the eyes and tell him all the things I really love about him, what I want this post to be is a little celebration of what marriage might look like from time to time (and the things no one prepares you for.) Earlier this year when I was named the Top Photographer and Overall Wedding Vendor by Wisconsin Bride, I was thrilled to see that they included this quote from me: “My couples focus on planning marriages more beautiful than their wedding day and to me, that makes all the difference.” Amen, amen, I am so glad to be living this sentiment (almost) every day.
The truth about having a blog and an online persona (per se) is that people want to to fill in the blanks that you don’t share. You could share a photo from date night and they can imagine this whimsical dinner on the lake and not see the fact that you put your eyeliner on crooked in the car because your inbox was more important than getting ready. You could see beautiful annual portraits speckled throughout the year but miss the arguments that happen on the nightly dog walks. The truth is, I would rather fill in some of the blanks for you, then to leave it up to your imagination because nothing makes me feel more awkward than when someone comments #goals on a photo I post. Marriage is a lot of things it’s: work, sacrifice, joy, struggle, teamwork, disagreement, challenging, and beautiful. What we fail to remember is that marriage is a commitment between two imperfect people who plan to go through life imperfectly together. There will be fights and swear words, make out sessions and breakfast in bed, but when you get married you agree to the whole gamut of it all. It’s a promise that you will see the other at their best and their worst and you will love them through both.
I never really think that I have any sort of quotable quotes but I recently shared my thoughts on marriage in “The #1 Thing I Love About Being Married,” and this quote was pulled out a few times by different bloggers: Marry someone confident enough to allow you to spread your wings but humble enough to be your stronghold if you need it. The truth is, the journey isn’t perfect, but the truth of it all is that year three allowed us to come into who we are a bit more. We grew as individuals but also grew together as a couple as we pursued the things that make our souls shine! We live out our vows, still leave our cell phones in the car for date night, go through a devotional before bed, and always say three things we are thankful for before falling asleep hand in hand. We are headstrong, I drop “f” bombs when I get mad, and we sometimes argue into oblivion but the truth is, we are just two imperfect people in an imperfect marriage that deserves to be celebrated and celebrate we will. I still think my husband is the hottest man on earth, I still make him dance with me on the sidewalk every night we walk our dogs, and he still cooks me breakfast on Saturday mornings. If year four will be anything like three, it will be full of adventure and growth, full of dreams and chasing them, and full of travels and puppies!
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