I first got to spend time with Ed Mylett when he interviewed me for his podcast. I drove out to his house in Laguna Beach (fully living out my teenage dreams of the reality TV show by the same name) and spent the day talking about my life, my business, and my journey through loss and growth.
Sometimes we have these preconceived notions about people who have a big online presence and what they might be like in real life. From that first meeting, Ed Mylett has stood out as one of the kindest, most open-hearted people in my world and it’s such a treat to now have the opportunity to welcome him onto the Goal Digger Podcast for a conversation about his new book, The Power of One More.
In his book, Ed shares personal stories and reflections on how his father battled a substance abuse disorder and got sober when Ed was just 15-years old. This conversation with Ed is a generous peek into his stories and lessons shared inside the book, and I’m so excited for you to hear it.
One More Try
Ed Mylett’s new book is called The Power of One More. He told me, “I wrote it really in reflection when my dad died, who was my best friend, but as you know, my dad was an interesting guy.”
Ed shared the story of when “one more” first appeared in his life. Ed’s father was an alcoholic for the first 15 years of his life and he remembers the moment his dad told him he was going to give sobriety one more try.
He was with his father at a drive-thru when it happened. Ed shared, “He was crying and he wouldn’t make eye contact with me. I could see water coming out of his eyes. I remember thinking what’s going on with daddy? I’ve never seen my dad cry before that day or after,” Ed continued, “He finally turned to me and he goes, I’m going to go away for a week. And when I come back, I’m not going to drink anymore. And I said, dad, daddy, what will be any different about this time?”
Ed remembers the exchange that followed, “And he goes, I’m going to give it one more try. And your mom’s told me that I will lose my family if I don’t and you and your sisters deserve a dad you can be proud of. And your mom deserves a husband she can respect. And I’m going to give it one more try.”
“And I remember thinking, wow, one more try,” Ed told me. “And then when he got sober, I remember saying, daddy, are you going to stay sober? You are never going to drink again the rest of your life? And he goes, I don’t know, I’m just not going to drink for one more day.”
Changing Your Identity
Ed wrote the book to apply to many areas of life – parenting, career, relationships, business, athletics, and beyond. Depending on what you want, the stories and strategies in the book will land differently for you. However, he said he found that a few things are universal, and those are wanting more self-confidence and changing your identity.
“Your identity is a big thing in your life because it governs so much. Your identity is the thermostat of your life. It’s the thoughts, beliefs, and concepts that you believe to be the most true about you. It sets the temperature of your life like a thermostat,” Ed explained.
“If you believe you’re only worth 75 degrees of love and you get into a relationship with the most loving, beautiful man, let’s say, but you will only let yourself feel worthy of that 75 degrees and he’s trying to pour a 100, 120 degrees on you, if you don’t change that identity of your worth it’s all you’re ever going to receive. You’re not going to feel loved enough or that you’re worthy of being enough love.”
Ed teaches in his book that if you can be aware of the invisible force of identity governing your life and have the tools to transform it, then the external things will transform, too.
Ed on Parenting
With the catalyst of Ed’s new book being his father’s journey with alcoholism and getting sober when Ed was 15-years old, Ed talks about child neglect in the book, too. Of all the forms of child neglect, he also addresses something that might not be typically viewed as neglectful on its face – a parent not pursuing potential or their dreams.
Ed explained, “Part of your potential could be that you’re just not pursuing the bliss you deserve, the peace you deserve, the love you deserve. Those are part of your potential. In other words, that bliss and that happiness and that peace already exists within and you’re cheating yourself and robbing yourself in front of your children from experiencing those emotions and you’re teaching them not to have them.”
The other part of it is an external dream that a parent does not pursue. He said, “And I think sometimes we worry that if we are successful in one area, that robs from another. I think that’s probably a false belief system. I’m not saying burn the candle at both ends, that’s not what I mean at all, but I think it’s pretty hard to convince your daughter that she can be anything she would like to be in her life if their number one role model isn’t.”
I loved Ed’s thought on this, “Most things with children are caught, not taught.”
More from Ed Mylett
It’s such a privilege to have my friend Ed Mylett back on the Goal Digger Podcast to dig into the real, honest reflections of his life and what’s behind his new book, The Power of One More. I hope you’ll press play to hear our full conversation on the podcast and pick up his new book right now.