Who here avoids conflict at all costs? I know, just the thought of facing conflict head on is enough to make a lot of people squirm in their seats, and yet conflict is an unavoidable part of human life. Like anything else, developing an approach and practicing that approach can help you feel confident when it comes time to step into the ring and tackle conflict in any area of life, from personal to professional and even conflict within yourself. That’s what we’re digging into on this episode of the Goal Digger Podcast.
We actually talked about conflict and resolution during a recent session of GrowthDay. GrowthDay is an online group coaching platform featuring live sessions from some of the most incredible voices in the personal development space. We speak on topics like confidence, relationships, focus and productivity, and more. It’s the only place I show up and live coach every single month, If you want to try it out free for 15 days visit growthday.com/jenna, that’s growthday.com/jenna
The topic of conflict was just too important not to share with you, so here it is. I’ll walk through what it means to protect your peace, why it’s important to determine how you process issues, the meaning of intentional listening, the power of harnessing humility and more. Ready for some conflict and resolution?
When I first started to consider the topic of conflict, my mind went to conflict between two people – a partner, a coworker, a client, a family member, and beyond. But conflict also happens within us. And honestly, the majority of conflict that we’re likely facing is stewing in us on a daily basis where it leaves us questioning. Am I doing the right thing? Am I doing enough? Am I answering the call?
When we let conflict live within ourselves, we face our days processing guilt or shame or uncertainty or fear. Conflict is this push and pull in our lives and it’s up to us, how we look at it, how we process it, and how we use it to propel us forward.
I tend to lean on seven ways of approaching and resolving conflict with others and within myself. I share all seven in the episode (so press play) but here are a few to get you thinking about your own approach to conflict.
Protecting Your Peace
The first one has been a cornerstone in my life and my career for so long, and it is so simple, but it is something we so often forget, and that is protecting our peace. I have learned that when it comes to conflict, if something is stealing my peace it’s too expensive. When I look at conflict, if something is keeping me up in the middle of the night, it is a sign that I need to address it either within myself or within the relationship.
When we start with protecting our peace, it’s something that we have to level up with a self-awareness of like, is this something that I am going to keep mentally rehearsing or going over in my brain over and over and over again, and is that going to rob my joy or steal my energy? And if the answer is yes, that’s a really good sign that you’ve got to address the conflict.
What does resolution look like for you?
If you are in conflict with a coworker or a superior, if you are in conflict with a spouse or a partner, if you are in conflict with a child, all of those resolutions are going to look different. Now, something that I think is really important to note is as somebody who hates conflict and loves to resolve, it I love to just hit the rewind button and try to go back to where we were before the conflict hit.
But the older I get and the more that I see different forms of conflict showing up in life, sometimes relationships change because of conflict and that change isn’t always negative, but sometimes it’s necessary.
Get really honest with what a relationship will look like after conflict. Some will be strengthened, others might be damaged. But what is the best way to resolve so you can not just move on, but you can move forward. Some conflict means that relationships will be changed and being really honest about the relationship that you’re in and with the situation you find yourself in can sometimes provide you opportunities to create things like boundaries that will protect you.
More from this Episode
What does it mean to harness humility? How can you gain a deeper understanding of the person you’re in conflict with so you can have more productive conversations around the conflicts you face? I dig into those questions and more in this episode dedicated to conflict and resolution. Press play on your favorite podcast app.
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