I woke up feeling a little woozy, a little off. I knew I had only had one glass of wine by the pool-side the night before so I couldn’t blame the hangover bandit, but something wasn’t right. I figured maybe a piece of dry toast would help settle my stomach but that didn’t seem to be doing the trick, either. Crap! I had to teach at UNITED in hours and here I was over the toilet saying a silent prayer that whatever was going on was coming to an end.
The room filled with eager photographers, I stood in the front and talked to God quick, “Please, oh please, help me get through this presentation.” Well, He delivered and I somehow taught in the front with a big smile and an eager heart to inspire. Minutes later I nabbed a room card to crash in my friends bed and “rest and rally.” Well, that didn’t quite happen. I actually ended up laying in that hotel bed saying my last will and testament to the lamp and praying that when they found my body, they would take off my sweaty shirt and too tight skinny jeans…
I had visions of being rolled out on a stretcher, having an IV put into my arm – anything to end the misery that I was experiencing. It’s funny isn’t it? When we are healthy we forget how terrible it is to catch a bug or the flu – yet every time we are sick, we tell ourselves, “ I will never, ever take for granted not feeling like this every single day.” You’ve been there right? You’re on what feels like your deathbed and promising yourself that for every day to come that you aren’t miserable, you will give thanks and praise and live a little harder.
I stayed horizontal for a solid 20 hours – getting up only when I absolutely had to. Sleeping in the clothes I spoke in and promising myself I would get up to shower (which never happened.) I had been entirely wiped out and there was nothing I could do. But here’s what I could do – I could live up to that promise that when I was feeling better, I would be grateful, I would remember that that flu wasn’t going to last forever (even though it felt like it would never end) and in my circumstance I could stop and thank God that everyday wasn’t like this…
This world can feel dark, it can feel like we are stuck horizontal, with tears in our eyes and a prayer in our heart – but then the lightness comes, it always does. If you’re feeling stuck right now, if you’re in that stage that feels like it will never end (but you’re hoping it does) I want to tell you something: hope is around the corner, don’t lose it. The sun came up and I rose for the first time in those 20 hours and I said, “Thank you God that today is a new day.” I kid you not, plain toast never tasted better and I saw the world with a little fresher eyes – don’t close your eyes to the blessings around you, my friend, they are there if you choose to see them.
Thank you for your always encouraging and inspiring perspective!